1
00:02:07,719 --> 00:02:10,049
Leave? You can't leave!

2
00:02:10,512 --> 00:02:12,409
I have a million things
I have to do today ...

3
00:02:12,748 --> 00:02:16,056
But Peter I can't thank you enough
for helping us put a quick end to the strike.

4
00:02:16,264 --> 00:02:18,383
These damn unionists,
they just make my blood boil.

5
00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:21,834
I really appreciate you
burning the midnight oil to put a stop to it.

6
00:02:22,312 --> 00:02:25,441
The Tribune couldn't have continued publishing
without your counsel.

7
00:02:25,816 --> 00:02:27,067
It was my pleasure, Hal.

8
00:02:27,526 --> 00:02:30,655
Well, if there is anything I can ever do for you,
please let me know.

9
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:32,824
You bet. It was good to see you.

10
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:37,704
Peter! Finally I get through to you.

11
00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:40,457
- Congratulations on your ...
- Thanks! Excuse me.

12
00:02:40,802 --> 00:02:43,770
- Uh, there's someone that I want you to meet.
- Sure!

13
00:02:45,738 --> 00:02:47,228
- Hi!
- Hi!

14
00:02:47,253 --> 00:02:50,285
- You enjoying the party?
- Yes, thanks for inviting me.

15
00:02:50,542 --> 00:02:53,288
This is Larry Jenkins.
Larry's a very dear friend of mine.

16
00:02:53,313 --> 00:02:55,582
We went to school together in Boston.
He's a publisher.

17
00:02:56,223 --> 00:02:59,365
Now, Alan's dad was in the marines with Hal.

18
00:02:59,643 --> 00:03:02,317
And now Alan works for Hal
over at The Tribune.

19
00:03:02,476 --> 00:03:03,940
I am an intern actually.

20
00:03:04,107 --> 00:03:07,319
Just graduated from UCLA
and is writing his first book.

21
00:03:07,630 --> 00:03:09,863
And Hal tells me he's a
very talented writer.

22
00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:12,532
Well ... send it on over to me when you're finished.

23
00:03:12,699 --> 00:03:14,785
I'd love to read it.
Here you go.

24
00:03:15,119 --> 00:03:16,211
- Thank you.
- Uhuh.

25
00:03:16,328 --> 00:03:19,994
Listen. I gotta get on my way. Great party, buddy!

26
00:03:20,257 --> 00:03:20,708
Thanks!

27
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:27,383
Uhm, why don't you stick around
for a while after everyone else's left.

28
00:03:27,590 --> 00:03:29,300
We can discuss your future.

29
00:03:29,729 --> 00:03:33,138
I-I-I have to give Hal a ride home
and I still have some writing to do.

30
00:03:33,443 --> 00:03:34,356
Well it's simple...

31
00:03:34,806 --> 00:03:37,059
You just come back here after all that.

32
00:03:37,345 --> 00:03:39,311
Cause that's when the real party
starts anyway.

33
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,563
I-I don't think I can.

34
00:03:42,003 --> 00:03:42,963
I insist.

35
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:48,168
Ok, thanks.

36
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,960
♪ Bang A Gong (Get It On) ♪

37
00:04:13,136 --> 00:04:13,539
Hello?

38
00:05:48,377 --> 00:05:54,997
Oh! When the chicken is away,
the rooster will play, hmm?

39
00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:58,364
Look, uh ... "Greg Brady,"

40
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,924
Next time you want
to steal everyone's trick,

41
00:06:00,949 --> 00:06:03,606
why don't you go home first
and rethink the outfit, ok?

42
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,965
Uh ... I was just leaving.

43
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:08,902
Ok, Ok! Why don't you get to the morgue
and check your boyfriend back in, alright?

44
00:06:09,538 --> 00:06:10,124
Oh!

45
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:12,395
Merv!

46
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,852
This, unfortunately, is my roommate Michael,

47
00:06:14,877 --> 00:06:17,908
who sometimes makes the first impression
that shows him for who he truly is.

48
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:19,773
Cute!

49
00:06:20,277 --> 00:06:23,031
Mervin, don't be upset.

50
00:06:23,412 --> 00:06:26,618
Generally he is a cool guy, but he
gets a little obnoxious when he's been drinking ...

51
00:06:27,308 --> 00:06:29,514
or eating or talking.

52
00:06:30,942 --> 00:06:33,211
He's the first friend I made
when I moved here a year ago

53
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,374
- I'm Tommy, by the way.
- Alan.

54
00:06:37,804 --> 00:06:40,003
And what's your connection here?

55
00:06:40,582 --> 00:06:42,756
I met Peter through the LA Tribune.

56
00:06:43,048 --> 00:06:43,913
In the personal ads?

57
00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:48,687
No, he just negotiated a quick end
to a major strike for us

58
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,243
and he invited my boss

59
00:06:50,268 --> 00:06:55,728
and a bunch of others over to celebrate earlier.
And then he invited me back here ... tonight.

60
00:06:56,568 --> 00:06:58,227
So you're a writer?

61
00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:00,100
Yeah.

62
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:01,526
What do you write?

63
00:07:01,734 --> 00:07:03,236
I'm working on my first book.

64
00:07:03,908 --> 00:07:06,406
- What's it about?
- Ironically enough ...

65
00:07:06,432 --> 00:07:06,908
Haha ...

66
00:07:07,741 --> 00:07:10,043
the homosexual lifestyle
through the ages.

67
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:13,914
The homosexual lifestyle only has
two ages: a young and 29.

68
00:07:14,178 --> 00:07:14,876
Ahahaha!

69
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:19,558
Actually I work with a group who's goal is
to change people's negative view on gays.

70
00:07:20,196 --> 00:07:21,839
My goal is my biggest challenge.

71
00:07:21,871 --> 00:07:22,554
Ha!

72
00:07:24,672 --> 00:07:26,672
You know, I'd love to
interview you sometime.

73
00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:29,370
Hmm! That's a new one.

74
00:07:30,441 --> 00:07:30,965
Come here.

75
00:07:44,663 --> 00:07:47,297
Uhm ... I--I should get going.

76
00:07:48,893 --> 00:07:49,464
See ya!

77
00:07:56,279 --> 00:07:58,739
- Hello
- Can I speak with Tommy, please?

78
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:02,048
- Yeah, who's this?
- This is Alan Oakley from last night.

79
00:08:03,142 --> 00:08:07,253
- Oh! Oh, hey!
- I was just checking to see if you'd like to have dinner tonight?

80
00:08:08,369 --> 00:08:10,996
- Uh, sure! What time?

81
00:08:27,117 --> 00:08:27,982
[KNOCKING]

82
00:08:33,724 --> 00:08:35,724
Hi, you must be Tommy?

83
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:39,463
Alan has told me so much about you!
Come in, please.

84
00:08:42,849 --> 00:08:44,434
For me?

85
00:08:45,022 --> 00:08:46,617
How sweet!

86
00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:47,625
Aww!

87
00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:49,182
Uh, who are you?

88
00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:50,350
Oh, I'm Beverly.

89
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:51,524
Tommy, hey!

90
00:08:52,978 --> 00:08:54,167
Sorry! Sorry!

91
00:08:54,977 --> 00:08:55,858
Right on time, too!

92
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,381
- Don't get used to it.
- So you met Beverly.

93
00:08:59,095 --> 00:09:00,861
We've done our introductions.

94
00:09:01,071 --> 00:09:02,928
So Alan tells me that you are homosexual.

95
00:09:03,332 --> 00:09:03,991
Beverly!

96
00:09:05,332 --> 00:09:06,968
Only cause there's nothing good on television.

97
00:09:07,243 --> 00:09:10,283
I just find it so intriguing!

98
00:09:10,815 --> 00:09:13,410
Uh, not always. Liberace, for example.

99
00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:14,561
Ahahaha!

100
00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:17,170
Liberace is a homosexual?

101
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,261
Sadly, yes.

102
00:09:20,701 --> 00:09:24,558
Uhm ... let me take this, thank you.
I'm gonna check on dinner.

103
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,932
Why don't we get to know
each other a little better, hmm?

104
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,886
So what was it like growing up in San Francisco?

105
00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:39,523
I'm from Texas.

106
00:09:40,078 --> 00:09:41,055
Are you from the Valley?

107
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,737
You are so good!

108
00:09:43,762 --> 00:09:44,738
[GIGGLES]

109
00:09:45,570 --> 00:09:46,911
I--I'm confused.

110
00:09:46,974 --> 00:09:51,415
Oh, I know sweetie. It's probably because
you had a very dominating mother.

111
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:56,704
So, what do you two have planned for the menu
tonight? A menage a trois?

112
00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,371
Oh, no!

113
00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:01,037
Alan hates French food.

114
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,331
Are you for real?

115
00:10:05,484 --> 00:10:06,175
Excuse me?

116
00:10:07,877 --> 00:10:11,186
I--I said ... uhm ... are--are you a Leo?

117
00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:19,431
You know, I-I should be honest.
I really don't know that many homosexuals ...

118
00:10:19,456 --> 00:10:23,202
Except Giorgio ... my hairdresser.
Oh, he is so good!

119
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,781
Do ... do you do hair?

120
00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:29,080
Well, not so much other people's. I do mine.

121
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:32,831
- I loved it.
- Thanks.

122
00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:36,315
Oh, and Maurice, my interior decorator ...

123
00:10:36,426 --> 00:10:39,854
He does all kinds of ... you know?

124
00:10:41,751 --> 00:10:42,751
Do you know him?

125
00:10:43,798 --> 00:10:46,348
Uhm, limp wrists, slight lisp and a flair for colors?

126
00:10:46,742 --> 00:10:47,683
That's him!

127
00:10:48,370 --> 00:10:49,210
Ooh!

128
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:52,480
Let's bond ...

129
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,313
I'll get my candles, and bells,
and we'll chant.

130
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,352
That would be great ... yeah ...

131
00:11:02,986 --> 00:11:05,176
So, you and Beverly getting
to know one another?

132
00:11:05,597 --> 00:11:08,184
Uh, yeah, I'm--I'm getting to know her.

133
00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:11,667
Just don't get her started on her guru,
you'll be on her knees before you know it.

134
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:12,884
You wish ...

135
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:14,217
Huh?

136
00:11:15,677 --> 00:11:17,381
Uh, is she your ...

137
00:11:18,591 --> 00:11:20,646
Shandi awaits us.

138
00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:23,805
Oh, honey, dinner's ready.

139
00:11:24,145 --> 00:11:25,280
Aww ...

140
00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:33,186
So what are you two like, a couple?

141
00:11:33,852 --> 00:11:35,122
Oh, no! No ...

142
00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:36,902
He is my lover.

143
00:11:37,939 --> 00:11:39,405
Isn't he dreamy?

144
00:11:43,952 --> 00:11:45,912
I think I need to smoke some pot!

145
00:11:46,162 --> 00:11:47,781
Oh, that sounds great!

146
00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:50,098
You don't smoke pot, Beverly.

147
00:11:50,678 --> 00:11:53,971
No, we've never smoke but the gods smoke pot ...

148
00:11:54,098 --> 00:11:56,463
our American Indians smoke pot.

149
00:11:57,114 --> 00:11:59,312
It brings us closer to our inner ... uhm ...

150
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,586
... unconsciousness.

151
00:12:03,547 --> 00:12:06,809
- And Shandi would have approved.
- You're so good!

152
00:12:11,955 --> 00:12:13,186
No, I don't smoke pot.

153
00:12:14,051 --> 00:12:15,963
Come on, it's just like smoking a cigarette.

154
00:12:16,138 --> 00:12:17,519
I don't smoke cigarettes.

155
00:12:18,217 --> 00:12:21,273
Honestly, Alan,
you are such a slave to reality.

156
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:23,870
Go ahead, it's no big deal...

157
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,815
if you are worried about a political career,
just don't inhale.

158
00:12:29,071 --> 00:12:29,666
[SIGHS]

159
00:12:42,632 --> 00:12:44,516
So when did you decide
you wanted to be a writer?

160
00:12:45,052 --> 00:12:48,005
Uhm ... it's always been
my dream since I was a child.

161
00:12:49,117 --> 00:12:51,181
When did you first realize
you were gay?

162
00:12:51,863 --> 00:12:54,259
Well, it has always been
my dream since I was a child.

163
00:12:54,577 --> 00:12:56,211
Ever since I was a child, I always...

164
00:12:56,236 --> 00:12:58,553
So does your family know that
you're doing gay rights work?

165
00:12:59,005 --> 00:13:03,306
No, they're old time dunk me if you got 'em Baptist but, uh,
they knew it's something that I believe in ...

166
00:13:03,331 --> 00:13:04,052
and they are behind me.

167
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,994
The only thing that I ever have behind me
was my father's boot.

168
00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:10,779
"Get a job, get married,
join the military."

169
00:13:11,018 --> 00:13:13,630
"Visit exotic locations, meet
interesting people and kill them!"

170
00:13:14,771 --> 00:13:16,616
There is nothing worse than a military father.

171
00:13:16,794 --> 00:13:19,421
Y--Y--You, you always have guns
around the house when I was growing up.

172
00:13:19,446 --> 00:13:22,781
One day when I was 13, I picked
one up and it accidentally went off.

173
00:13:24,289 --> 00:13:25,256
I killed Patton.

174
00:13:26,495 --> 00:13:27,114
Patton?

175
00:13:30,653 --> 00:13:31,435
Our parrot.

176
00:13:31,883 --> 00:13:34,391
[COUGHS]

177
00:13:35,351 --> 00:13:37,405
I'll never forget Patton's last words...

178
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:38,695
"Polly wants a casket?"

179
00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:42,795
I get these variations of shakes
everytime I get near gun.

180
00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:46,034
I can't even look at one without
hearing "Rawwwk!"

181
00:13:47,653 --> 00:13:49,596
Sweetie, you never told me that!

182
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,216
- So where are you from originally?
- Seguin, Texas.

183
00:13:52,486 --> 00:13:56,208
W--Why come to Los Angeles to change
people's views about gays?

184
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:58,803
It seems like Texas needs it
more than LA.

185
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,891
Well, I tried to group together in college

186
00:14:00,916 --> 00:14:03,972
but the only place they were willing to stand
together was the library men's room.

187
00:14:04,305 --> 00:14:06,568
I spent a lot of  time in the
library men's room, too.

188
00:14:06,963 --> 00:14:09,621
When did you have your first gay encounter?

189
00:14:10,285 --> 00:14:10,682
Hmm ...

190
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:14,086
8th grade, January 12, 1968,

191
00:14:14,111 --> 00:14:16,405
3:45 pm. It was a Friday.

192
00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:19,179
That's very precise.

193
00:14:19,533 --> 00:14:21,306
It was very precise.

194
00:14:22,411 --> 00:14:24,569
Something weird is going on here.

195
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:32,881
What, is this supposed to be a date or something?

196
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:33,942
[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]

197
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,084
I thought it was.

198
00:14:39,362 --> 00:14:39,728
What?

199
00:14:41,828 --> 00:14:43,630
He's teasing you, honey.

200
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,876
No. I don't think he was.

201
00:14:55,948 --> 00:14:58,286
Now I know why you didn't want
me here in the first place.

202
00:14:58,881 --> 00:15:01,103
Well, because this is for my book.

203
00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:04,586
I'm going home to chant for you, Alan.

204
00:15:09,859 --> 00:15:10,890
Beverly, wait!

205
00:15:18,025 --> 00:15:20,890
Wait a minute, I forgot something:
Cocksucker!

206
00:15:25,350 --> 00:15:26,167
Was that an insult?

207
00:15:26,948 --> 00:15:28,694
You are so cool!

208
00:15:29,316 --> 00:15:32,441
- Sorry, I don't mean to ...
- No! It's okay.

209
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:34,672
We met a few months back
at the Young Republicans Club

210
00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:36,124
and I thought she was normal

211
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:40,631
Then I don't know where she became this
candle burning, chanting Buddhist.

212
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,792
You met her in Hitler Youth camp
and you thought she was normal?

213
00:15:44,221 --> 00:15:46,110
What in God's name were you doing
there in the first place?

214
00:15:46,411 --> 00:15:47,419
I'm a Republican.

215
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:55,220
You're kidding, right?

216
00:15:55,927 --> 00:15:57,633
If I am, it's not very funny is it?

217
00:16:02,064 --> 00:16:03,992
I'm, I'm completely lost.

218
00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:06,753
Why would a straight Republican ...

219
00:16:07,339 --> 00:16:08,831
write a book about homosexuality?

220
00:16:09,214 --> 00:16:13,721
To provide an objective source material
that doesn't indulge in proselytizing.

221
00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:16,634
You're so stoned.

222
00:16:17,654 --> 00:16:18,668
I am not.

223
00:16:20,502 --> 00:16:21,185
Come in!

224
00:16:35,436 --> 00:16:36,253
You want a shotgun?

225
00:16:36,943 --> 00:16:37,544
A what?

226
00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:39,412
Come here, open your mouth.

227
00:16:58,671 --> 00:17:01,235
You should ... I think you should probably go...

228
00:17:03,993 --> 00:17:07,116
Yeah, yeah, Ok.

229
00:17:09,005 --> 00:17:10,084
I'm sorry. I, uh ...

230
00:17:53,713 --> 00:17:54,847
Hey, sweetie!

231
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:58,576
How's your big night?
I won't ask you how big, how many times ...

232
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:02,709
Does he has a twin brother?
God, I won't ask, I have my pride.

233
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,535
Oh, forget it, it was a disaster.

234
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,664
- What's the matter? Is he bottom too?
- Worst.

235
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:12,114
- Is he straight?
- Yeah, but even worse.

236
00:18:12,798 --> 00:18:16,535
Oh my God!
What can be worse than straight?

237
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,972
He is Republican.

238
00:18:18,618 --> 00:18:19,944
He's a straight Republican!

239
00:18:20,081 --> 00:18:21,181
Do you know any other kinds?

240
00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:27,130
I--I'm sorry honey, but when he first opened his mouth,
Judy Garlands first fell out!

241
00:18:32,052 --> 00:18:34,676
Oh, I'm, I'm  sorry sweetie,
I didn't ....

242
00:18:37,057 --> 00:18:38,509
realize ... It's tough break.

243
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:42,754
God, how I wish they made cards
for moments like these.

244
00:18:44,325 --> 00:18:45,357
You want a massage?

245
00:18:46,928 --> 00:18:49,697
Thanks you but no.
I have to get to a rally.

246
00:18:50,951 --> 00:18:51,554
Have fun!

247
00:18:56,962 --> 00:19:00,962
♪ Ain't Nobody Straight in L.A. ♪

248
00:19:26,413 --> 00:19:28,667
Remind me again
what it is we're doing here?

249
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:33,921
We're acting as a counterbalance to the extreme
conservative power base of the straight patriarchal so--

250
00:19:34,943 --> 00:19:37,100
It's a great way to meet guys.
That's what it is.

251
00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:39,329
Exactly. There comes one now.

252
00:19:39,707 --> 00:19:41,886
- What's this?
- It's a petition recalling Nixon.

253
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,409
Nixon's innocent, man!

254
00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:47,868
I know! Can you believe they sat me
at a table next to this freaking lunatic.

255
00:19:47,893 --> 00:19:48,219
What?

256
00:19:49,108 --> 00:19:51,386
Here sign mine. It's in support of Nixon.

257
00:19:52,345 --> 00:19:54,241
Okay, now that I can sign?

258
00:19:54,691 --> 00:19:55,939
What's your friends problem anyway?

259
00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:57,526
uh, you know how these
communists can get ...

260
00:19:57,551 --> 00:19:59,367
when they've been in their
bread line too long.

261
00:20:00,336 --> 00:20:02,114
Could you put your home
phone number down there too?

262
00:20:06,723 --> 00:20:07,714
Keep it up.

263
00:20:08,952 --> 00:20:11,786
Hey with you behind me... no problem!

264
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,939
- Alan!
- Tommy! Hey!

265
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,446
Hey! What's it been? A month?

266
00:20:19,192 --> 00:20:22,711
Uh, aren't you supposed to be in
a Brooks Brothers closet somewhere?

267
00:20:22,844 --> 00:20:25,304
Aren't you suppose to be in the
bushes stretching your ankle somewhere?

268
00:20:26,548 --> 00:20:28,603
Actually I was - with this guy.

269
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,786
"555"...

270
00:20:31,694 --> 00:20:34,412
That's not a prefix! Son of a bitch!

271
00:20:34,797 --> 00:20:35,420
Sir!

272
00:20:39,011 --> 00:20:40,959
So what are you doing here?

273
00:20:41,915 --> 00:20:43,840
I-I jog here every morning.

274
00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:48,506
- Getting many signatures?
- Not really.

275
00:20:49,028 --> 00:20:51,674
Hah! Nixon's won. Ahaha!

276
00:20:54,923 --> 00:20:55,913
Do you have plans tonight?

277
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:59,071
Or maybe you're busy
bringing down the government?

278
00:20:59,655 --> 00:21:01,547
No! No, I'm not too busy. Why?

279
00:21:01,836 --> 00:21:06,799
Well, it's Saturday and I used to spend them
with Beverly until you scared her away. So ...

280
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:09,039
I scared her away?

281
00:21:09,316 --> 00:21:10,166
Yeah.

282
00:21:10,888 --> 00:21:13,388
And you'd like to thank me with ... dinner?

283
00:21:14,823 --> 00:21:15,490
Sure!

284
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:18,347
Alright!

285
00:21:24,638 --> 00:21:27,655
I can't remember the last
time I had that much fun.

286
00:21:28,027 --> 00:21:30,303
You're a Republican,
you never had that much fun.

287
00:21:30,534 --> 00:21:34,494
I don't know. Some of those
upper people can get really rowdy.

288
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,055
- Is this my plant?
- Yeah!

289
00:21:37,842 --> 00:21:41,039
What happened? You know you're
supposed to talk to it twice a day ...

290
00:21:42,105 --> 00:21:42,896
Hi, plant.

291
00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:46,095
Hi, plant.

292
00:21:50,949 --> 00:21:51,275
Aww!

293
00:21:55,723 --> 00:21:58,241
Well, I'm pretty wrecked,
so I'm gonna stubble home.

294
00:21:59,201 --> 00:22:00,780
No! Why don't you stay the night.

295
00:22:02,641 --> 00:22:04,471
- Are you sure?
- Yeah!

296
00:22:06,448 --> 00:22:07,448
I can take the couch.

297
00:22:07,971 --> 00:22:09,475
No. You don't have to do that.

298
00:22:10,237 --> 00:22:10,753
I don't?

299
00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:15,438
That couch is a torture device
for unwelcome relatives.

300
00:22:16,165 --> 00:22:17,431
You sleep in my bed ...

301
00:22:19,074 --> 00:22:21,614
- You sure?
- Sure I'm sure.

302
00:22:23,158 --> 00:22:23,692
Alright.

303
00:22:26,032 --> 00:22:28,247
I'll take the couch, I'm used to it.

304
00:22:31,961 --> 00:22:34,755
Ok ... good night.

305
00:23:05,332 --> 00:23:06,642
What are you doing?

306
00:23:09,212 --> 00:23:11,815
The--The couch was worse than I remembered.

307
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,356
I'll take the couch.

308
00:23:35,916 --> 00:23:36,423
Good morning!

309
00:23:46,735 --> 00:23:48,085
Oh, I get breakfast too?

310
00:23:49,204 --> 00:23:51,040
Usually all I get is a phoney name
and number.

311
00:23:51,981 --> 00:23:54,245
Ahah! Last night was a blast, thanks!

312
00:23:55,603 --> 00:23:56,805
Yeah, I had a good time too.

313
00:23:56,972 --> 00:23:58,666
Well, you need to cool the charge zone ...

314
00:23:58,856 --> 00:24:01,090
I need to save some of my brain cells for retirement.

315
00:24:01,471 --> 00:24:02,796
So what are you doing tonight?

316
00:24:03,717 --> 00:24:05,169
I can't see you again.

317
00:24:06,003 --> 00:24:06,780
Here!

318
00:24:08,574 --> 00:24:10,891
Oh, you're supposed to catch that.

319
00:24:11,945 --> 00:24:13,333
I said I can't see you again.

320
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:14,587
Why?

321
00:24:17,065 --> 00:24:18,428
Because I have feelings for you.

322
00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,871
I think you know that.

323
00:24:22,223 --> 00:24:23,968
But you climbed into bed with me anyway.

324
00:24:26,773 --> 00:24:27,415
Come on!

325
00:24:28,764 --> 00:24:30,693
"Dude, I was so drunk I don't remember a thing."

326
00:24:30,718 --> 00:24:33,164
"Man I'm real horny right now, I wish
my girlfriend was here."

327
00:24:33,644 --> 00:24:35,210
I don't know what you're talking about.

328
00:24:35,235 --> 00:24:37,274
You know damn well
what I'm talking about.

329
00:24:39,568 --> 00:24:42,415
I don't want you to be with me
because of some drunken encounter.

330
00:24:43,161 --> 00:24:45,034
Well, I'm not a fag like you, ok?

331
00:24:51,995 --> 00:24:54,817
Well, I'm so happy for you.

332
00:24:59,776 --> 00:25:00,182
[DOOR SLAMMING]

333
00:25:00,919 --> 00:25:02,149
[TELEPHONE RINGING]

334
00:25:02,903 --> 00:25:03,546
- Hello!

335
00:25:04,632 --> 00:25:05,125
- Tommy?

336
00:25:05,466 --> 00:25:06,925
Look, he doesn't want to talk to you.

337
00:25:07,386 --> 00:25:09,902
Why don't you get out the white page
and call someone else?

338
00:25:12,599 --> 00:25:17,675
   [TYPEWRITER CLANKING]

339
00:25:17,775 --> 00:25:21,643
The American Psychiatric Association classifies
homosexuality as a mental illness.

340
00:25:21,668 --> 00:25:23,364
I need your signatures to change that!

341
00:25:31,331 --> 00:25:33,067
Homosexuality is not
a mental illness.

342
00:25:34,069 --> 00:25:35,311
You should be ashamed!

343
00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:37,462
You should be ashamed of that outfit!

344
00:25:42,885 --> 00:25:44,730
Homosexuality is not a mental illness, sir.

345
00:25:44,755 --> 00:25:47,004
Please brother! [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

346
00:25:47,734 --> 00:25:48,502
Walk nice!

347
00:25:48,527 --> 00:25:50,511
Can I just talk to him for
a second, please?

348
00:25:50,536 --> 00:25:54,063
Listen, I put a restraining order on a guy
who didn't call half this much.

349
00:25:57,890 --> 00:25:58,525
Faggot!

350
00:26:27,726 --> 00:26:32,261
Alan, it's a potential two-book deal,
how could you resist?

351
00:26:32,769 --> 00:26:35,348
I don't know. I just don't feel
good about it anymore.

352
00:26:35,858 --> 00:26:38,334
The best thing is to get it out of your hands
and and out of your mind.

353
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,318
You sign right here and then we're done.

354
00:26:42,365 --> 00:26:44,492
I've known Larry for a long time.

355
00:26:44,867 --> 00:26:46,756
Trust me, your book
is in best of hands.

356
00:26:50,569 --> 00:26:51,447
I guess your right.

357
00:26:56,129 --> 00:26:59,216
Thanks for putting a good word for me
with Governor Reagan.

358
00:26:59,383 --> 00:27:00,889
I think it's gonna be a good article.

359
00:27:02,177 --> 00:27:02,780
Well, listen,

360
00:27:03,929 --> 00:27:07,548
If there's ever anything I can do for you,
just give me a call.

361
00:27:08,392 --> 00:27:09,820
Thank you, you've been a good friend.

362
00:27:11,193 --> 00:27:11,804
[ KNOCKING]

363
00:27:12,230 --> 00:27:13,142
Oh, excuse me.

364
00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:23,160
What part of "fuck off, drop-dead, go to hell,
you're not getting a Christmas card" do you not understand, huh?

365
00:27:23,803 --> 00:27:24,906
Why do you keep calling me?

366
00:27:26,078 --> 00:27:28,622
I do not want to see you
or hear from you again!

367
00:27:29,581 --> 00:27:30,874
I think I'll be going.

368
00:27:32,008 --> 00:27:35,183
- Tommy, what a surprise to see you here!
- I'll talk to you later, Alan.

369
00:27:38,437 --> 00:27:39,079
What do you want?

370
00:27:40,551 --> 00:27:42,820
I can't stop thinking about what happened.

371
00:27:42,845 --> 00:27:45,218
I just want to apologize for the way I treated you.

372
00:27:45,932 --> 00:27:48,977
- I ... I finished my book. Peter's ...
- I don't give a fuck about the book!

373
00:27:49,436 --> 00:27:52,372
What ... do you ... want?

374
00:27:53,982 --> 00:27:55,656
I wanna say I'm sorry.

375
00:27:59,989 --> 00:28:02,020
Absolution granted, go with with God.
We're done.

376
00:28:02,325 --> 00:28:03,949
- Wait!
- What?

377
00:28:06,746 --> 00:28:08,665
I wanted to tell you that ...

378
00:28:09,541 --> 00:28:10,684
I-I ...

379
00:28:10,771 --> 00:28:13,223
- Did you take the little bus to school?
- Spit it out! Say it!

380
00:28:15,201 --> 00:28:15,939
I'm out of here!

381
00:28:15,964 --> 00:28:18,629
I'll let you get back to crying
over Spiro Agnew's resignation.

382
00:28:25,262 --> 00:28:26,350
That's not gonna happen...

383
00:28:27,810 --> 00:28:28,778
Cause I hate you.

384
00:28:32,607 --> 00:28:33,416
Now, fuck off!

385
00:28:53,129 --> 00:28:55,617
Dude I was so drunk,
I don't remember a thing.

386
00:28:57,577 --> 00:28:58,577
Shut up.

387
00:29:04,474 --> 00:29:06,757
Hey, Alan, it's me. Call me baby.

388
00:29:09,130 --> 00:29:12,354
It's Dylan again. The guy keeps asking ...

389
00:29:18,572 --> 00:29:19,379
Larry Jenkins.

390
00:29:19,698 --> 00:29:21,776
Uh, Larry, this is Alan Oakley.

391
00:29:22,728 --> 00:29:25,828
Well, hey, I was just, uhm,
getting ready to call you.

392
00:29:26,658 --> 00:29:28,146
I want to talk to you about the book.

393
00:29:28,917 --> 00:29:32,629
Yeah, Alan, I needed to talk to you too.
Listen, it's a great book

394
00:29:32,830 --> 00:29:36,088
but the timing ... it is all wrong.

395
00:29:36,113 --> 00:29:39,359
I don't think that this is
the good time to release it.

396
00:29:40,199 --> 00:29:43,310
Oh, that is great.
Oh my God, this is so great.

397
00:29:43,778 --> 00:29:46,468
Ah, this is going better than I expected.

398
00:29:49,689 --> 00:29:52,117
Yeah, listen, I'll give you a call
when the next one is finished?

399
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:53,450
I look forward to that.

400
00:29:54,003 --> 00:29:54,693
Ok, see you!

401
00:29:59,368 --> 00:29:59,677
Hey!

402
00:30:02,786 --> 00:30:03,347
Who was that?

403
00:30:03,490 --> 00:30:06,143
Uh, it's my publisher.
They're not gonna publish my book.

404
00:30:07,416 --> 00:30:10,294
Oh! I'm sorry!
I know how much that meant to you.

405
00:30:10,461 --> 00:30:11,492
Ah, it's no big deal.

406
00:30:12,755 --> 00:30:13,881
What are you talking about?

407
00:30:15,508 --> 00:30:17,077
I didn't care for it that much anyway.

408
00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:20,028
Look you worked so hard on it.

409
00:30:20,038 --> 00:30:22,030
I don't understand how you
can dismiss it so easily?

410
00:30:22,055 --> 00:30:22,880
Am I missing something?

411
00:30:26,144 --> 00:30:27,658
Well, can I read it now?

412
00:30:27,890 --> 00:30:30,429
I'd like to just forget about it.

413
00:30:32,390 --> 00:30:32,970
Ok ...

414
00:30:35,794 --> 00:30:36,977
This will cheer you up.

415
00:30:50,995 --> 00:30:53,673
Uh, it's not my kind of read.

416
00:30:53,965 --> 00:30:56,314
Read? Damn, you are new with this.

417
00:30:57,803 --> 00:30:59,847
Well why don't you teach me something.

418
00:31:00,442 --> 00:31:05,267
Okay ... lesson 1...

419
00:31:28,627 --> 00:31:32,059
No ... stop!

420
00:31:32,190 --> 00:31:32,928
I won't ...

421
00:31:36,158 --> 00:31:38,229
- I'm coming!
- Not yet, not yet!

422
00:31:39,263 --> 00:31:41,158
Come on Alan, don't keep your mother waiting!

423
00:31:44,928 --> 00:31:47,959
You better  move on. Open up in there, boy!

424
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,334
Good morning!

425
00:31:58,659 --> 00:32:00,199
You still in bed, mister?

426
00:32:00,453 --> 00:32:02,622
It's 0900! Damn, that must be nice.

427
00:32:02,937 --> 00:32:05,675
What, what are you doing here?
Aren't you supposed to be in Vegas?

428
00:32:06,113 --> 00:32:09,510
You father wasn't winning
so we decided to leave early.

429
00:32:09,546 --> 00:32:12,549
We thought we'd see you
before we drove back in San Diego.

430
00:32:12,574 --> 00:32:13,962
Now, isn't the best time.

431
00:32:14,217 --> 00:32:17,288
We only came over to see you.
God! You know I hate this city.

432
00:32:17,681 --> 00:32:19,816
Can I just ... I'll give you a call later?

433
00:32:20,391 --> 00:32:21,951
Don't be ridiculous.

434
00:32:22,506 --> 00:32:24,998
Get up, get up!
My mom and dad are here!

435
00:32:25,585 --> 00:32:27,117
Oh great! I can't wait to meet them.

436
00:32:27,355 --> 00:32:28,332
Are you crazy? No way!

437
00:32:28,357 --> 00:32:29,650
They'll freak if they saw you!

438
00:32:29,859 --> 00:32:31,571
My! I didn't know I look
that bad in the morning?

439
00:32:31,903 --> 00:32:32,904
Come on!

440
00:32:33,188 --> 00:32:35,672
- What do you want me to do?
- Just hide in the closet!

441
00:32:36,069 --> 00:32:38,243
You'll bury me in a crawlspace
before I get in a closet.

442
00:32:38,410 --> 00:32:39,592
I'm an only child.

443
00:32:39,830 --> 00:32:42,266
My parents expect twenty grandkids!
They cannot see you!

444
00:32:42,706 --> 00:32:45,083
I'm guessing your parents can't see a lot of things.

445
00:32:45,250 --> 00:32:48,128
I'm sick of being your dirty little secret.

446
00:32:48,303 --> 00:32:50,502
We never go out. I never met any of your friends.
You don't want me answering the phone.

447
00:32:57,221 --> 00:32:59,464
I'm sorry. I didn't realize.

448
00:32:59,891 --> 00:33:02,205
Uhm ... this is my friend Tommy.

449
00:33:02,394 --> 00:33:04,610
He stayed the night last night because...

450
00:33:04,646 --> 00:33:06,272
He got kicked out of his apartment.

451
00:33:06,940 --> 00:33:09,318
Your mom's not stupid.
She can see what's going on here.

452
00:33:12,193 --> 00:33:16,450
My roommate had out-of-town guests.
Things got a little bit too crowded so Alan let me crashed here.

453
00:33:16,939 --> 00:33:17,368
Yeah ...

454
00:33:17,868 --> 00:33:18,701
And I told him:

455
00:33:18,782 --> 00:33:21,789
I can take the couch.
But Alan being the righteous guy that he is,

456
00:33:22,456 --> 00:33:24,813
said: No, no! You go ahead take the bed,
I'll take the couch.

457
00:33:26,002 --> 00:33:27,796
Well, that was sweet of you.

458
00:33:28,421 --> 00:33:32,301
Anyway, don't worry about the coffee.
I've got a pot going.

459
00:33:32,936 --> 00:33:34,618
I'll let you two get dress.

460
00:33:37,842 --> 00:33:38,770
I liked the hat.

461
00:33:39,469 --> 00:33:40,516
Dress!

462
00:33:44,376 --> 00:33:45,815
H-how was Vegas?

463
00:33:46,534 --> 00:33:49,876
Vegas is full of drunks, partying
and gambling till dawn.

464
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:53,802
That's we first met actually.
The good old days!

465
00:33:54,232 --> 00:33:58,549
I was a dancer at the Pink Flamingo
and Ted was on leave from the marines

466
00:33:58,811 --> 00:34:00,286
He was so cute in his uniform.

467
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:03,016
You were a dancer in Vegas,
that's so cool!

468
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,120
Did you ever meet Ann Margret?

469
00:34:04,844 --> 00:34:09,527
No, but I wore her pantyhose.
The girls and I were doing a tribute to Elvis ...

470
00:34:09,562 --> 00:34:10,260
Mary!

471
00:34:12,969 --> 00:34:14,802
So how do the two of you know each other?

472
00:34:15,365 --> 00:34:17,626
Uhm ... the Young Republicans Club.

473
00:34:18,452 --> 00:34:20,087
Me, I just love Dick.

474
00:34:23,254 --> 00:34:24,357
It has so much sugar.

475
00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:27,714
Nixon's a fine man.

476
00:34:28,721 --> 00:34:31,165
Glad to see young minds
supporting the team.

477
00:34:31,665 --> 00:34:34,423
although he's a little too
liberal on some issues.

478
00:34:34,574 --> 00:34:36,058
All in all, he's a fine man.

479
00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:46,386
So Alan, do you have something
you want to tell us?

480
00:34:46,631 --> 00:34:48,687
Uhm, I don't think so.

481
00:34:49,392 --> 00:34:51,772
Might I be reading some new item soon?

482
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:53,661
I can explain it.

483
00:34:54,026 --> 00:34:55,281
I think you should.

484
00:34:55,316 --> 00:34:56,823
I think you owe your mother an explanation.

485
00:34:57,422 --> 00:34:58,068
It was a  ...

486
00:34:58,093 --> 00:35:00,680
Your father wants to know
when your book is coming out.

487
00:35:02,085 --> 00:35:03,458
Oh! T-t-the book?

488
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,402
Uhm ... I--I haven't heard back from them yet, so ...

489
00:35:08,013 --> 00:35:09,164
You haven't heard?

490
00:35:09,582 --> 00:35:11,249
Well get your ass in gear!

491
00:35:11,274 --> 00:35:12,625
- Ted!
- I mean, make some calls!

492
00:35:12,660 --> 00:35:15,699
Use, you know, knock down ...
Use some initiative for once!

493
00:35:15,744 --> 00:35:20,180
Ted, we need to be getting home.
Your father doesn't want to miss Kojak.

494
00:35:22,751 --> 00:35:23,794
Who loves you, baby?

495
00:35:23,819 --> 00:35:26,009
Well, you two have a safe trip back.

496
00:35:26,422 --> 00:35:28,445
Yeah, and keep us posted for a change, huh.

497
00:35:28,779 --> 00:35:30,525
It was nice meeting you, Tommy.

498
00:35:30,699 --> 00:35:31,778
It was nice meeting you.

499
00:35:33,294 --> 00:35:38,525
Oh! Your magazine was getting wet,
so I put it on the side of the couch for you.

500
00:35:42,439 --> 00:35:43,523
I think they liked me.

501
00:35:43,661 --> 00:35:44,423
Oh my God!

502
00:35:45,661 --> 00:35:46,960
And what's the deal with your book?

503
00:35:46,985 --> 00:35:48,389
I thought you said your publisher didn't like it.

504
00:35:48,969 --> 00:35:51,173
I only told them that so they'll stay off my back.

505
00:35:51,198 --> 00:35:54,076
I can't believe you left your porno magazine,
now my mother saw it!

506
00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:55,983
Well, I wasn't the one who got it wet...

507
00:35:56,912 --> 00:35:57,729
You little shit!

508
00:35:58,331 --> 00:35:59,110
Closet case.

509
00:36:00,416 --> 00:36:01,281
Little shit!

510
00:36:01,751 --> 00:36:02,487
Closet case.

511
00:36:03,424 --> 00:36:04,035
Haha!

512
00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:08,930
<i>♪ Shambala ♪</i>

513
00:37:21,586 --> 00:37:23,212
Wait, slow down you guys! Wait! Ahhh!

514
00:37:23,443 --> 00:37:24,697
Why did you invite him?

515
00:37:24,722 --> 00:37:27,039
I'm cramping. I'm going back to the car.

516
00:37:36,727 --> 00:37:38,354
Unbelievable!

517
00:37:40,076 --> 00:37:43,234
So, how about taking that road trip
to Mexico that we've been talking about, huh?

518
00:37:43,980 --> 00:37:46,946
I mean, we haven't taken a vacation
in the four years that we've been together.

519
00:37:47,321 --> 00:37:50,033
Mexico? You know I hate road trips.
Why don't we fly there instead.

520
00:37:50,103 --> 00:37:52,359
If we fly there, it's not the same thing. I mean ...

521
00:37:52,384 --> 00:37:54,622
it's about bonding on the road,
just the two of us.

522
00:37:55,114 --> 00:37:57,018
Oh no! Come on! Come on! Come on!

523
00:37:59,036 --> 00:38:00,455
Heeey!

524
00:38:01,329 --> 00:38:03,432
Hey, Alan!

525
00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:06,487
- Are you okay?
- Hi!

526
00:38:06,884 --> 00:38:09,762
Jeez! It's been a long time, huh?

527
00:38:10,172 --> 00:38:15,399
Beverly, wow! Uhm ... it's been forever!
I hardly recognized you. You changed so much.

528
00:38:15,486 --> 00:38:17,795
And there's something different
about you, too!

529
00:38:18,256 --> 00:38:21,256
Well we got rid of the sweater vest.
Your outfit is amazing!

530
00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:26,104
Oh, thanks! I'm getting in shape for an
at home workout video I'm doing.

531
00:38:26,113 --> 00:38:27,598
At home workout video?
What's that?

532
00:38:28,058 --> 00:38:30,804
Imagine doing your workout at
home instead of at the gym ...

533
00:38:30,868 --> 00:38:33,996
You just pop the cassette in your machine
and follow the instructor.

534
00:38:34,789 --> 00:38:36,666
Isn't that just the coolest idea?

535
00:38:36,691 --> 00:38:38,584
Well, okay, it was good seeing you.

536
00:38:38,627 --> 00:38:39,669
Yeah, you too.

537
00:38:39,836 --> 00:38:41,838
Look, you should stop by our
apartment for dinner sometime.

538
00:38:42,257 --> 00:38:44,883
Our apartment?
You guys are living together?

539
00:38:45,258 --> 00:38:47,066
Yeah, yeah! For the last four years.

540
00:38:48,386 --> 00:38:49,804
I knew it.

541
00:38:50,013 --> 00:38:51,732
You're too good a cook to be straight!

542
00:38:52,970 --> 00:38:54,359
Just not chanting, Ok?

543
00:38:54,740 --> 00:38:56,101
Oh, that was just a phase...

544
00:38:56,126 --> 00:38:57,354
... I was going through.

545
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,401
I'm with the church of Scientology now.

546
00:38:59,559 --> 00:39:01,773
They opened up a whole a new world for me.

547
00:39:02,193 --> 00:39:03,194
It sounds interesting.

548
00:39:03,336 --> 00:39:05,530
- It is!
- W-w-we need to...

549
00:39:05,738 --> 00:39:08,992
Look! I got to run too.
But uh ... same number?

550
00:39:09,132 --> 00:39:11,418
- Yeah!
- Good! I'll give you a call. Bye!

551
00:39:13,846 --> 00:39:15,521
Great, thanks a lot.

552
00:39:18,044 --> 00:39:18,719
Where's Michael?

553
00:39:24,449 --> 00:39:25,219
Excuse me.

554
00:39:27,409 --> 00:39:30,330
Awwww! That hurt, you motherfucker!

555
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:33,417
Drop the candy and step
away from the little boys.

556
00:39:37,017 --> 00:39:41,581
Oh, please! Finish yourself off.
That was not funny!

557
00:39:42,414 --> 00:39:43,667
You guys, wait!

558
00:39:49,159 --> 00:39:50,619
I used to date Alan

559
00:39:50,661 --> 00:39:52,669
but on some level, I always knew he was gay.

560
00:39:53,081 --> 00:39:56,667
Oh, no, I loved it.
Took him so long to come!

561
00:39:59,295 --> 00:40:02,840
Oh, I get that a lot seriously.
But I am more of a relationship-oriented.

562
00:40:03,216 --> 00:40:04,406
Definitely not a slut.

563
00:40:05,552 --> 00:40:06,611
I'm gonna go refill this.

564
00:40:06,636 --> 00:40:09,973
[UNINTELLIGIBLE]
that's at the bottom of the back page ...

565
00:40:11,308 --> 00:40:12,476
Oh, excuse me.

566
00:40:13,737 --> 00:40:15,621
Larry, what are you doing here?

567
00:40:15,646 --> 00:40:19,108
I been trying to get a hold of you for weeks.
I've got some good news.

568
00:40:19,227 --> 00:40:22,945
Considering what's happening down in Florida,
I think we found the perfect time to release your book.

569
00:40:23,221 --> 00:40:25,005
Larry, I don't want anything
to do with that book.

570
00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:27,305
That was a long time ago
and I don't believe in that anymore.

571
00:40:27,376 --> 00:40:29,552
Certainly I don't want my name
attached to something like that.

572
00:40:29,577 --> 00:40:33,623
- Alan, your making a big mistake.
- No. It was good seeing you.

573
00:40:35,625 --> 00:40:38,003
Quite the turnout! You're popular.

574
00:40:38,170 --> 00:40:40,631
They're mostly Tommy's friends.

575
00:40:40,923 --> 00:40:42,216
Thanks again for doing this for us.

576
00:40:42,382 --> 00:40:44,843
It's my pleasure. Oh, before I forget...

577
00:40:45,302 --> 00:40:48,472
Here are the house keys to the place.
And I thank you for housesitting for me.

578
00:40:48,639 --> 00:40:50,464
It's not a problem.
Tommy and I are looking forward to it.

579
00:40:51,309 --> 00:40:53,134
Where's the little bomb thrower anyway.

580
00:40:53,895 --> 00:40:57,617
Who knows? He's probably signing autographs
and blowing kisses, I guess ...

581
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:01,695
You two look like you gotten along
pretty well after 4 years.

582
00:41:01,945 --> 00:41:04,489
It's easier to live together now
that Carter is in the White House.

583
00:41:05,657 --> 00:41:06,768
Interesting, isn't it?

584
00:41:07,117 --> 00:41:11,789
How drastically our lives can change under
the influence of just one person.

585
00:41:12,289 --> 00:41:13,050
What do you mean?

586
00:41:13,457 --> 00:41:16,085
I mean you should be running
The Tribune by now.

587
00:41:16,419 --> 00:41:17,879
Don't you want to have ...

588
00:41:18,171 --> 00:41:20,548
Excuse me. Has anybody seen my boyfriend?
I think I lost him.

589
00:41:20,715 --> 00:41:22,651
Oh! W-what does he look like?

590
00:41:22,993 --> 00:41:27,222
Well ... he's handsome, smart,
successful, lovable ...

591
00:41:27,597 --> 00:41:28,247
handsome.

592
00:41:28,425 --> 00:41:30,894
Hmm ... why would you let
someone like that out of your sight?

593
00:41:31,087 --> 00:41:32,895
Well, in case I find someone better.

594
00:41:33,021 --> 00:41:34,646
Oh, shit!

595
00:41:48,882 --> 00:41:51,164
- Where are you taking me?
- It's a secret.

596
00:41:51,456 --> 00:41:52,240
Secret, huh?

597
00:41:52,265 --> 00:41:55,050
Yeah! Do you like secrets?

598
00:41:56,753 --> 00:41:57,364
Have a sit.

599
00:42:01,165 --> 00:42:02,045
Close your eyes.

600
00:42:03,344 --> 00:42:05,498
Don't be funny. Close your eyes
and turn around.

601
00:42:10,828 --> 00:42:11,542
No peeking.

602
00:42:21,984 --> 00:42:24,103
Ok. Happy anniversary!

603
00:42:27,161 --> 00:42:30,250
- "Tits and Ass"... I think you're backsliding.
- No, it's our initials!

604
00:42:30,275 --> 00:42:33,459
I know. Thank you. I love it.

605
00:42:36,780 --> 00:42:39,510
One more thing...

606
00:42:44,492 --> 00:42:45,682
A picture of an Oldsmobile?

607
00:42:46,681 --> 00:42:48,823
Too pretentious to buy me
a picture of a Volkswagen?

608
00:42:48,863 --> 00:42:52,029
Haha!
It is also yours and arrives next week.

609
00:42:53,063 --> 00:42:53,793
You're kidding?

610
00:42:54,231 --> 00:42:55,070
It's yours!

611
00:42:56,403 --> 00:42:59,244
- We can't afford this.
- Yes we can. I've been saving.

612
00:42:59,612 --> 00:43:01,095
No! No, no! I can't accept this.

613
00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:04,033
You have no choice! It's bought and
paid for,  and there are no refunds.

614
00:43:05,159 --> 00:43:06,730
Look, it's for both of us.

615
00:43:07,078 --> 00:43:07,996
No.

616
00:43:08,204 --> 00:43:09,255
Yes.

617
00:43:09,696 --> 00:43:11,553
- No!
- Yes!

618
00:43:11,966 --> 00:43:13,053
- No!
- Yes!

619
00:43:13,077 --> 00:43:13,672
- No!
- Yes!

620
00:43:13,697 --> 00:43:14,419
- No!
- Yes!

621
00:43:14,444 --> 00:43:15,070
- No!
- Yes!

622
00:43:15,198 --> 00:43:16,856
- Yes ...
- Ahahaha

623
00:43:17,589 --> 00:43:18,674
That was easy.

624
00:43:19,424 --> 00:43:21,385
Do you have any idea
how much I love you?

625
00:43:21,844 --> 00:43:23,162
Why don't you show me.

626
00:43:36,544 --> 00:43:37,607
How could you do this to me?

627
00:43:37,917 --> 00:43:42,655
Alan, you signed a contract with me
4 years ago. This was all perfectly legal.

628
00:43:43,158 --> 00:43:47,586
The timing was just too perfect to let it
pass and I didn't attach your name to it.

629
00:43:47,797 --> 00:43:50,875
So what are you worried about?
You got a bestselling book,  young man!

630
00:43:52,273 --> 00:43:52,733
[HANGS UP]

631
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:57,356
Well, listen to this: "The citizens of Dade County,
Florida voted by a margin of 2-1 ..."

632
00:43:57,381 --> 00:44:01,177
"to repeal an ordinance that prohibits
discrimination against homosexuals."

633
00:44:01,594 --> 00:44:05,534
"Prior to this vote, singer Anita Bryant
had raised a significant public outcry ..."

634
00:44:05,559 --> 00:44:08,186
"... against the ordinance which
has received national attention."

635
00:44:08,551 --> 00:44:11,163
"Following the overturning of the law,
Bryant said: ..."

636
00:44:11,188 --> 00:44:15,818
"With God's help, we will prevail in our fight
to repeal similar laws throughout the nation."

637
00:44:17,236 --> 00:44:21,029
It's that damn book "The Straight Truth" and
Anita Bryant that our gonna be our biggest problems.

638
00:44:22,727 --> 00:44:26,656
I don't know. I'm meeting with David Mixner
tonight to discuss damage control.

639
00:44:28,164 --> 00:44:29,203
Right. I'll see you there.

640
00:44:40,612 --> 00:44:42,096
Why don't you just tell him the truth?

641
00:44:42,624 --> 00:44:45,608
Tell him I wrote the nation's number
one hate book? I can't do that.

642
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:51,039
Well, I suppose the whole thing might blow over
and no one will ever know that it was you.

643
00:44:51,064 --> 00:44:53,149
But don't you think it's better to be honest?

644
00:44:53,236 --> 00:44:55,458
Can't you get Larry to pull
the books off the shelves?

645
00:44:56,085 --> 00:44:57,743
You got to face up to this, Alan.

646
00:44:59,573 --> 00:45:00,255
You're right.

647
00:45:01,408 --> 00:45:03,493
Just talk to him. He'll understand.

648
00:45:04,530 --> 00:45:07,046
I hope so. Thanks.

649
00:45:22,023 --> 00:45:22,777
Where is it?

650
00:45:24,474 --> 00:45:25,348
There it is.

651
00:45:28,937 --> 00:45:29,984
Gonna wish me luck?

652
00:45:31,166 --> 00:45:33,893
Uhm, I need to tell you something.

653
00:45:35,569 --> 00:45:36,420
What?

654
00:45:38,516 --> 00:45:39,357
What is it?

655
00:45:46,292 --> 00:45:47,228
Knock 'em dead.

656
00:45:47,864 --> 00:45:49,919
Thanks! See you tonight.

657
00:45:59,722 --> 00:46:03,539
The Anita Bryant-led effort to rescind
equal rights for gay people in Florida ...

658
00:46:03,641 --> 00:46:04,888
... has spread nationally.

659
00:46:05,176 --> 00:46:08,437
We're sitting here with Tommy Ballenger
of Out Loud, a group he founded ...

660
00:46:08,462 --> 00:46:12,025
in order to prevent the Bryant crusade
from taking root in California.

661
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:13,273
Mr. Ballenger,

662
00:46:13,630 --> 00:46:18,240
What does Out Loud plan to do about all of the
anti-gay rights bills being passed around the country?

663
00:46:18,532 --> 00:46:22,411
Well, I think the best thing that Out Loud can do
is to educate everyone about diversity.

664
00:46:22,911 --> 00:46:24,581
The people fear what they don't understand.

665
00:46:25,304 --> 00:46:27,075
Have you read the book "The Straight Truth"?

666
00:46:27,100 --> 00:46:31,298
It was obviously written by the Christian
right in an  attempt to make us look bad.

667
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,456
Why do you think it was published anonymously?

668
00:46:33,996 --> 00:46:35,170
Any final words?

669
00:46:35,908 --> 00:46:37,677
Yes, yes. Thank you.

670
00:46:38,098 --> 00:46:40,764
I'd like to make a deal with the
Anita Bryant people.

671
00:46:41,328 --> 00:46:45,708
If you stop telling lies about us,
we'll stop telling the truth about you.

672
00:46:46,756 --> 00:46:50,232
You may have heard that there was an incident
during a pre-concert meeting with reporters.

673
00:46:50,613 --> 00:46:51,573
And this is what happened:

674
00:46:51,598 --> 00:46:56,175
"We brought a crusade across the nation and
try to do away with the homosexuals"

675
00:46:56,175 --> 00:47:01,200
"Then certainly we could done on June 8
after one of the most overwhelming victories in the country."

676
00:47:01,225 --> 00:47:07,264
"Uhm ... uh, but we didn't ...  we ... we tried to avoid it
and went into a place called Norfolk, Virginia"

677
00:47:07,430 --> 00:47:08,626
"And we're met with protests"

678
00:47:08,761 --> 00:47:13,838
"and uh, all kinds of problems ...
and uh ... uh ...

679
00:47:16,097 --> 00:47:17,294
"Security! Security!"

680
00:47:17,319 --> 00:47:21,533
- No, no! Let him stay.
- No. Well at least it's a fruit pie.

681
00:47:36,826 --> 00:47:41,905
Yes, I would like to give you the name
of the author of "The Straight Truth"...

682
00:47:42,412 --> 00:47:44,912
and I wished to remain anonymous.

683
00:47:46,375 --> 00:47:50,085
Mr. Ballenger, it's been revealed that the
author of the book "The Straight Truth" is Alan Oakley,

684
00:47:50,110 --> 00:47:51,922
a man you been living with the past four years.

685
00:47:51,947 --> 00:47:53,883
Would you care to comment
on these allegations?

686
00:47:54,133 --> 00:47:57,679
Was this a plan to make money out of
the controversy Anita Bryant has caused?

687
00:47:58,147 --> 00:48:00,479
Was this a hoax designed
to look like a right-wing attack ...

688
00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:02,417
in order to garner sympathy for your cause?

689
00:48:02,809 --> 00:48:06,521
Give us the straight truth, Mr. Ballenger:
Is Alan Oakley actually your lover?

690
00:48:06,521 --> 00:48:08,565
Oh come one!
People wanted to know the truth!

691
00:48:08,565 --> 00:48:13,595
Listen. You Farrah Fawcett major asshole!
If you don't haul your twack out of here

692
00:48:13,620 --> 00:48:16,731
I swear to God,
I'm shoving that microphone so far up ...

693
00:48:18,834 --> 00:48:19,493
Oh!

694
00:48:20,445 --> 00:48:22,580
Uh! The hair is all wrong, honey!

695
00:48:25,083 --> 00:48:26,209
Cut!

696
00:48:28,006 --> 00:48:31,256
There isn't a newspaper in the country,
except maybe a gossip rag ...

697
00:48:31,752 --> 00:48:35,736
that would employ a journalist who's
the subject of more news than he writes.

698
00:48:36,125 --> 00:48:38,394
It--it wasn't supposed to be published.

699
00:48:38,931 --> 00:48:42,101
A real journalist would never write
anything that can't be published!

700
00:48:42,236 --> 00:48:45,062
A real writer takes responsibility
for his words!

701
00:48:45,479 --> 00:48:47,268
Even your father agrees with me on this.

702
00:48:47,982 --> 00:48:49,155
You have created...

703
00:48:49,267 --> 00:48:51,274
an environment of anarchy around here.

704
00:48:51,917 --> 00:48:54,239
We have protestors outside
in front of the building!

705
00:48:54,433 --> 00:48:57,727
The phones they are ringing off
the hook with death threats!

706
00:48:58,181 --> 00:49:00,642
I have no choice, Alan, but to let you go.

707
00:49:50,399 --> 00:49:52,057
Is there anything you want to say?

708
00:50:21,471 --> 00:50:22,567
I'm sorry.

709
00:50:29,846 --> 00:50:30,957
[SOBS]

710
00:50:43,551 --> 00:50:47,551
<i>♪ Destination Unknown ♪</i>

711
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:09,367
Excuse me ...

712
00:52:10,409 --> 00:52:11,274
Excuse me ...

713
00:52:12,461 --> 00:52:14,326
Honey, he'll be out in a minute.

714
00:52:16,579 --> 00:52:18,491
Hello? Out Loud, how may I help you?

715
00:52:19,207 --> 00:52:21,918
Yes, Mr. Oakley will be speaking in the annual dinner.

716
00:52:22,511 --> 00:52:24,379
No, he is not single but I am.

717
00:52:25,366 --> 00:52:26,636
No, I'm no lesbian!

718
00:52:27,050 --> 00:52:29,820
Even though one night, I had a lot of tequila,
and me and my friend ...

719
00:52:33,114 --> 00:52:35,106
You know, I can understand two guys doing it ...

720
00:52:35,265 --> 00:52:37,393
because there's something
to grab hold of down there.

721
00:52:37,559 --> 00:52:41,241
Two girls? I mean ... you got
something to sink your teeth into, right?

722
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:43,566
Oh my God! You're not a dyke, are you?

723
00:52:44,442 --> 00:52:44,961
Oh, no.

724
00:52:46,628 --> 00:52:46,881
Oh.

725
00:52:47,341 --> 00:52:51,119
"I assume there is one department
you've been waiting for me to mention."

726
00:52:52,087 --> 00:52:53,579
"The Department of Defense."

727
00:52:54,150 --> 00:52:56,680
"It's the only department in our entire program ..."

728
00:52:56,705 --> 00:53:00,538
"that will actually be increased over
the present budgeted figure."

729
00:53:00,562 --> 00:53:01,554
"[CLAPPING]"

730
00:53:02,294 --> 00:53:06,373
Well, better to keep your mouth shut and appear
stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

731
00:53:06,545 --> 00:53:09,802
The only president never to give
bad news to the American people.

732
00:53:09,981 --> 00:53:12,036
Oh, they're Republicans. What do you expect?

733
00:53:12,195 --> 00:53:15,350
It's like communicating with the Germans.
You don't mention the war.

734
00:53:15,672 --> 00:53:18,144
If I remember correctly,
you used to be one of those Republicans.

735
00:53:18,186 --> 00:53:20,852
If I remember correctly,
you used to be a slut!

736
00:53:21,606 --> 00:53:22,797
I love your suit.

737
00:53:23,275 --> 00:53:24,785
It's so Crystal Carrington.

738
00:53:24,834 --> 00:53:27,580
Like I am really sweet
but I'll scratch your eyes out!

739
00:53:27,889 --> 00:53:30,449
Thanks. Your outfit is dazzling.

740
00:53:30,619 --> 00:53:33,202
Oh, this? My office-slut look?

741
00:53:33,492 --> 00:53:37,190
I work for shock value. Just so
people know they're still alive.

742
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,181
Just the man I was looking for!

743
00:53:44,206 --> 00:53:47,523
Only if I were straight, I know, I know!
What are you doing here?

744
00:53:48,736 --> 00:53:51,624
I come to see my handsome friend.
Sit down.

745
00:53:52,236 --> 00:53:53,243
What's up?

746
00:54:02,979 --> 00:54:06,404
A phone number and address in Mexico.
Let me guess ...

747
00:54:07,572 --> 00:54:09,365
My dream man will be there.

748
00:54:10,158 --> 00:54:13,540
Beverly I know you are excited of this idea
of psychics on infomercials ...

749
00:54:13,565 --> 00:54:16,164
... but let me be the first to tell you,
it won't catch on.

750
00:54:16,623 --> 00:54:18,375
It's Tommy's address and phone number.

751
00:54:20,669 --> 00:54:21,659
Come on!

752
00:54:22,335 --> 00:54:25,621
You're making things right with the gay community,
make thing right with him too!

753
00:54:26,253 --> 00:54:27,295
He hates me.

754
00:54:28,469 --> 00:54:30,263
You're the only one who hates you.

755
00:54:31,535 --> 00:54:34,393
I can't. I have ... I have
to prepare for my speech ...

756
00:54:34,418 --> 00:54:36,703
and I think Peter's planning
something for my birthday.

757
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:38,718
He's sick, Alan.

758
00:54:39,731 --> 00:54:43,302
Michael asked me to tell you. He thought
it would be easier coming from me.

759
00:54:43,889 --> 00:54:48,114
He's going to his parents' house the day after
tomorrow and he wants to see you before he leaves.

760
00:54:50,562 --> 00:54:51,475
No, I can't.

761
00:54:52,618 --> 00:54:53,768
I have to get home.

762
00:54:55,081 --> 00:54:56,144
Home to what?

763
00:54:56,969 --> 00:54:57,959
Alan!

764
00:55:10,569 --> 00:55:12,370
Mary! Hi, it's Beverly.

765
00:55:12,808 --> 00:55:14,393
Look, we need to help your son.

766
00:55:20,545 --> 00:55:21,981
Oh! So you are a dyke!

767
00:55:23,013 --> 00:55:23,981
I have an idea.

768
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:25,687
Alright sister!

769
00:55:58,606 --> 00:55:59,526
You coming to bed?

770
00:56:00,599 --> 00:56:01,654
In a minute.

771
00:56:04,162 --> 00:56:05,939
That damn construction crew ...

772
00:56:06,251 --> 00:56:09,473
they won't be finished putting up
the new gates until Tuesday.

773
00:56:09,989 --> 00:56:13,420
I wanted them to finish before
my parents come tomorrow!

774
00:56:15,015 --> 00:56:17,657
- Your parents are coming tomorrow?
- Yeah ...

775
00:56:18,103 --> 00:56:22,048
so you have to move all your stuff
into one of the spare rooms while they're here.

776
00:56:22,715 --> 00:56:25,760
Oh, I got you a new suit to wear.
It's hanging in your closet.

777
00:56:26,981 --> 00:56:28,766
I'm going to bed. Good night.

778
00:56:32,318 --> 00:56:34,097
[SNORING]

779
00:56:51,822 --> 00:56:52,672
What is this?

780
00:56:52,918 --> 00:56:56,251
It's the keys to my BMW. It's all yours.
I'm buying a new one.

781
00:56:56,418 --> 00:56:58,144
Stop with the gifts, Ok?

782
00:56:58,169 --> 00:57:00,176
I'm perfectly happy with my car.

783
00:57:01,772 --> 00:57:04,802
Alan, it's a Honda.
How can you be happy with that?

784
00:57:06,798 --> 00:57:08,361
We are not doing that great, are we?

785
00:57:09,028 --> 00:57:11,353
What, are you kidding?
I'm never been better!

786
00:57:11,521 --> 00:57:14,729
- The firm has only lost one case this year ...
- I'm talking about us, Peter!

787
00:57:15,334 --> 00:57:16,596
We've grown apart.

788
00:57:17,096 --> 00:57:19,492
I'll take you to Cabo as soon as I get some time.

789
00:57:19,841 --> 00:57:21,737
I don't think that's
the answer to our problem.

790
00:57:22,341 --> 00:57:22,531
Ha!

791
00:57:23,182 --> 00:57:27,099
I can't believe this second-rate law firm
is getting so much work.

792
00:57:49,499 --> 00:57:50,999
Hi, plant!

793
00:58:09,219 --> 00:58:11,535
Dad, you two should take
a trip to China...

794
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:13,208
for your 60th anniversary.

795
00:58:13,266 --> 00:58:15,480
- What?
- China, dad!

796
00:58:16,035 --> 00:58:17,713
I don't care what we eat

797
00:58:17,804 --> 00:58:21,224
Just don't let that woman of yours
cook any more of that damn roast!

798
00:58:21,391 --> 00:58:23,260
This is Peter, not Martin.

799
00:58:23,427 --> 00:58:25,888
Peter isn't married. Remember, George.

800
00:58:26,307 --> 00:58:27,641
Why aren't you married?

801
00:58:28,084 --> 00:58:31,925
Because he's too busy with work.
He doesn't have time to date.

802
00:58:32,084 --> 00:58:37,692
Oh, Alan, we haven't seen your lady friend
that Peter has been telling us that much.

803
00:58:38,056 --> 00:58:40,237
We'll she's too busy with work.

804
00:58:40,347 --> 00:58:43,037
Which she's got President Reagan
to thank for that!

805
00:58:43,062 --> 00:58:46,160
Oh, we have President Reagan
to thank for a lot of things.

806
00:58:51,226 --> 00:58:52,162
I'll get it.

807
00:58:56,321 --> 00:58:58,051
He's a nice young man.

808
00:59:02,138 --> 00:59:04,177
Surprise!

809
00:59:04,202 --> 00:59:06,510
- What is this?
- Happy birthday!

810
00:59:06,598 --> 00:59:07,766
This is not a good time.

811
00:59:07,791 --> 00:59:09,924
What's that dreary music?

812
00:59:09,949 --> 00:59:12,813
I've been in elevators with better
music than this.

813
00:59:12,838 --> 00:59:13,972
It's your birthday so ...

814
00:59:13,981 --> 00:59:17,050
we decided to come over
and party.

815
00:59:17,075 --> 00:59:17,877
Mwah!

816
00:59:18,036 --> 00:59:21,072
Oh that's B.S.! We're here for the free liquor.

817
00:59:21,239 --> 00:59:23,533
Your mother is single and ready to party.

818
00:59:23,565 --> 00:59:24,406
Mom!

819
00:59:24,740 --> 00:59:28,538
This is how we used to do it for
the after hour show at Caesar's Palace.

820
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:30,504
You go, Mama!

821
00:59:30,529 --> 00:59:32,250
Peter's parents are here!

822
00:59:32,474 --> 00:59:33,776
Wheel them out, then!

823
00:59:33,801 --> 00:59:35,212
Let's do this at another time, please?

824
00:59:35,282 --> 00:59:38,432
I can't believe invited them and not us!

825
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:42,136
You are a bad boy.

826
00:59:42,161 --> 00:59:44,889
Yeah, go to your room, now.

827
00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:45,463
Guys ...

828
00:59:45,488 --> 00:59:47,026
We got to talk!

829
00:59:47,058 --> 00:59:49,048
Mom, do not touch a thing ...

830
01:00:03,873 --> 01:00:05,794
I thought Peter might appreciate it.

831
01:00:06,112 --> 01:00:07,961
If Peter needed a hooker.

832
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,366
Oh, come on! I might a
little extra cash on my way home.

833
01:00:11,825 --> 01:00:12,801
What's up?

834
01:00:14,082 --> 01:00:15,257
Why haven't you called your mother?

835
01:00:15,455 --> 01:00:17,351
You do realize your parents just got divorced.

836
01:00:17,462 --> 01:00:19,708
Yeah, well, she looks she's fine to me.

837
01:00:21,311 --> 01:00:22,636
Your real birthday present.

838
01:00:23,541 --> 01:00:26,001
I thought you might need a little vacation.

839
01:00:35,613 --> 01:00:38,097
- I told you,  I can't.
- Your plane leaves in 3 hours.

840
01:00:38,192 --> 01:00:41,699
You'll make it to Mexico and
enough time to sip on a margarita ...

841
01:00:41,898 --> 01:00:43,948
and catch that flight with Tommy to Texas.

842
01:00:43,973 --> 01:00:46,368
- I can't go.
- Why?

843
01:00:47,461 --> 01:00:49,437
Because Peter wouldn't like that.

844
01:00:51,418 --> 01:00:52,743
"Peter wouldn't like that."

845
01:00:53,552 --> 01:00:54,370
Beverly!

846
01:00:54,395 --> 01:00:57,918
Alan! Peter wouldn't like even if
I sat on his face and grind it!

847
01:00:58,791 --> 01:01:01,608
Come on! Jump off his nip ... for a change!

848
01:01:01,633 --> 01:01:04,236
He took me when no one else would, Ok?

849
01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:11,840
He's a little baby
He's Peter's boobooboo ...

850
01:01:11,865 --> 01:01:13,514
I said I can't go.

851
01:01:13,539 --> 01:01:17,190
Grow up and be a man.
Keep it! You might change your mind!

852
01:01:19,579 --> 01:01:21,134
What is that racket?

853
01:01:22,103 --> 01:01:24,578
Sounds like a bunch of colors!

854
01:01:24,603 --> 01:01:27,206
I will go and see what is going on.

855
01:01:29,986 --> 01:01:32,628
- Is he working?
- He's not budging.

856
01:01:32,653 --> 01:01:34,589
The night's still young!

857
01:01:41,125 --> 01:01:42,826
Come on. Not tonight.

858
01:01:42,851 --> 01:01:44,933
Come on, join us!

859
01:01:45,028 --> 01:01:47,519
Don't be such a square.
He's just like his father.

860
01:01:47,972 --> 01:01:49,591
I didn't raise him like that.

861
01:01:49,647 --> 01:01:51,924
[ CRASHING SOUND]

862
01:01:53,178 --> 01:01:55,257
I hope that wasn't expensive!

863
01:01:55,588 --> 01:01:56,505
It was!

864
01:01:56,688 --> 01:01:58,426
I told them they couldn't stay.

865
01:01:58,561 --> 01:02:00,324
I can't believe you invited

866
01:02:00,349 --> 01:02:02,994
your parents for his birthday but not us.

867
01:02:03,269 --> 01:02:04,603
It's your birthday?

868
01:02:06,007 --> 01:02:08,738
Well then, I came just in time.

869
01:02:08,903 --> 01:02:10,404
What's for dinner, anyway?

870
01:02:10,429 --> 01:02:13,705
- We don't have enough.
- Oh, knowing you, you have more than you need.

871
01:02:20,478 --> 01:02:22,557
Why do you keep looking at your watch?

872
01:02:22,996 --> 01:02:24,892
That was a terrific meal.

873
01:02:25,268 --> 01:02:26,936
You know how to cook, Alan.

874
01:02:27,053 --> 01:02:28,104
Thanks.

875
01:02:28,175 --> 01:02:30,239
Wine! Yes, please.

876
01:02:33,621 --> 01:02:34,652
I'll have another.

877
01:02:35,045 --> 01:02:37,656
Could you be anymore of an alcoholic?

878
01:02:38,042 --> 01:02:39,317
Well, I'll give it a shot,

879
01:02:39,342 --> 01:02:41,611
but I'm not making any promises.

880
01:02:42,826 --> 01:02:44,881
Are you ready for your
big speech tomorrow night?

881
01:02:44,984 --> 01:02:46,579
Oh! How exciting!

882
01:02:46,928 --> 01:02:47,789
Practice on us!

883
01:02:47,814 --> 01:02:50,772
- So, dad, how was your golf game ...
- He's giving a speech ...

884
01:02:50,797 --> 01:02:53,983
on Reagan's neglect of the health crisis.

885
01:02:54,008 --> 01:02:55,666
You should be proud, Peter.

886
01:02:55,912 --> 01:03:00,346
Could we not make this dinner table
conversation tonight?

887
01:03:01,109 --> 01:03:03,324
Where is Alan's father?

888
01:03:03,451 --> 01:03:06,228
Probably screwing some young tramp.

889
01:03:06,730 --> 01:03:08,353
I should have left him years ago ...

890
01:03:08,378 --> 01:03:10,552
but he was just so good in bed!

891
01:03:11,004 --> 01:03:12,977
Some days I can barely walk.

892
01:03:13,002 --> 01:03:15,946
No one here is interested in that.

893
01:03:16,097 --> 01:03:17,181
Lower your voice!

894
01:03:17,589 --> 01:03:18,763
We are not hard of hearing.

895
01:03:18,890 --> 01:03:22,445
Well, you could at least take
some interest in my son's well-being!

896
01:03:22,838 --> 01:03:25,081
I respect all of Alan's interests,

897
01:03:25,166 --> 01:03:28,196
I just don't like having them
shoved down my throat!

898
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:33,674
That's the first time I heard you complained
about my son shoving anything down your throat.

899
01:03:34,758 --> 01:03:36,540
I'm not quite sure how to take that ...

900
01:03:36,565 --> 01:03:38,652
Hmm ... said the altar boy to the bishop.

901
01:03:39,690 --> 01:03:41,307
You're way out of line.

902
01:03:41,412 --> 01:03:43,015
First you come into my house ...

903
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:44,562
- Your house?
- ... uninvited ...

904
01:03:44,714 --> 01:03:47,714
Oh, I forgot. You live alone.

905
01:03:49,273 --> 01:03:50,650
Don't do this.

906
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:52,585
Don't make the same mistakes...

907
01:03:52,610 --> 01:03:54,110
I made with your father.

908
01:03:54,752 --> 01:03:57,847
I love you and I support you ...

909
01:03:58,521 --> 01:04:01,655
But I can't sit here and
watch you destroy your life.

910
01:04:01,854 --> 01:04:04,164
If you leave right now, you'll make it in time.

911
01:04:04,282 --> 01:04:06,988
In time for what? He's not going anywhere.

912
01:04:10,312 --> 01:04:14,323
This dinner is over.
I want everyone out of here now!

913
01:04:14,348 --> 01:04:15,718
You don't have to shout.

914
01:04:15,743 --> 01:04:18,433
- Let's go, George.
- You don't have to shout.

915
01:04:18,554 --> 01:04:19,697
Take your cane.

916
01:04:19,863 --> 01:04:21,990
Did we say something wrong?

917
01:04:50,598 --> 01:04:53,867
I hope you enjoyed embarrassing me.
What are you doing?

918
01:04:54,572 --> 01:04:55,367
I'm leaving you.

919
01:04:56,745 --> 01:04:58,804
Is there some problem I'm not aware off?

920
01:04:59,496 --> 01:05:01,804
No, there is a problem you've been ignoring.

921
01:05:03,076 --> 01:05:04,286
We don't belong together, Peter.

922
01:05:04,525 --> 01:05:05,869
Let's discuss this tomorrow.

923
01:05:06,025 --> 01:05:09,612
Peter, I am leaving you and
I am not coming back.

924
01:05:10,384 --> 01:05:11,350
Where are you gonna go?

925
01:05:11,972 --> 01:05:13,146
I'm going to see Tommy.

926
01:05:14,043 --> 01:05:15,067
Tommy who?

927
01:05:15,740 --> 01:05:16,812
Tommy Ballenger.

928
01:05:18,506 --> 01:05:19,058
What?

929
01:05:20,239 --> 01:05:23,909
You want to spend your life with him
on--on picket lines,

930
01:05:23,934 --> 01:05:28,319
throwing condoms in churches
and screaming about how dire everything is?

931
01:05:28,491 --> 01:05:31,110
Why do you think I saved you from
that in the first place?

932
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:32,443
How did you save me?

933
01:05:32,815 --> 01:05:35,696
If I hadn't pushed Larry
to get your book published ...

934
01:05:35,721 --> 01:05:37,767
that's the life that you would
be leading right now.

935
01:05:38,324 --> 01:05:40,868
- You got that book published?
- Of course, I did!

936
01:05:40,893 --> 01:05:42,903
You fucking asshole!

937
01:05:43,353 --> 01:05:46,899
You had the opportunity for success.
And what did you do?

938
01:05:47,065 --> 01:05:49,777
You threw it all away. You wasted your life.

939
01:05:49,903 --> 01:05:51,792
That book destroyed my life!

940
01:05:52,214 --> 01:05:53,924
What turned you into this monster?

941
01:05:54,108 --> 01:05:56,243
I didn't change, you did.

942
01:05:56,892 --> 01:05:59,877
Now put the bags down and
get back upstairs.

943
01:06:06,786 --> 01:06:07,445
Hmm ...

944
01:06:20,434 --> 01:06:21,852
What happened to my gate opener?

945
01:06:22,436 --> 01:06:23,425
I have it.

946
01:06:23,646 --> 01:06:24,758
Could you open it for me?

947
01:06:25,328 --> 01:06:28,318
Alan, it's cold out here.
Now will you come on?

948
01:06:28,518 --> 01:06:31,772
Then go somewhere warmer like to hell.
I got a plane to catch.

949
01:06:40,062 --> 01:06:43,062
Peter, dammit!
For the last time, open the gates!

950
01:06:46,815 --> 01:06:48,648
Did the party moved out here?

951
01:06:49,090 --> 01:06:51,175
Could you talk some sense into your son?

952
01:06:58,632 --> 01:07:02,270
Hey son! I'm supposed
to talk some sense into you.

953
01:07:02,449 --> 01:07:04,060
Mom, I need to get out of here.

954
01:07:04,279 --> 01:07:05,588
Makes sense to me.

955
01:07:06,459 --> 01:07:09,004
Take care of yourself and
give my love to Tommy.

956
01:07:09,217 --> 01:07:12,019
- What's all the ruckus out here?
- It's okay, Dad.

957
01:07:12,235 --> 01:07:13,813
Will you open those gates?

958
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:16,362
You are not helping the situation.

959
01:07:16,519 --> 01:07:17,510
Where is he going?

960
01:07:17,535 --> 01:07:19,279
He's getting the hell out of here!

961
01:07:19,304 --> 01:07:21,430
What brook's place is everyone's yelling for?

962
01:07:21,486 --> 01:07:23,126
Will you open that gate?

963
01:07:23,151 --> 01:07:24,586
It's time for you to go home.

964
01:07:26,302 --> 01:07:27,881
Aww! What are you doing?

965
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:28,965
Let him out!

966
01:07:29,132 --> 01:07:30,215
C'mon. Give me that!

967
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,148
No! That's my grandmother's!

968
01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:33,887
Laid it herself, I bet!

969
01:07:36,528 --> 01:07:38,036
Don't make me kick your ass!

970
01:07:38,434 --> 01:07:39,759
Oh no, not that.

971
01:07:41,763 --> 01:07:43,556
Get off me you, old geezer!

972
01:07:43,814 --> 01:07:45,316
Enough!

973
01:07:46,798 --> 01:07:48,393
Behave yourselves!

974
01:07:48,504 --> 01:07:50,369
[SCREECHING TIRES]

975
01:07:50,397 --> 01:07:52,579
Noooo!

976
01:07:56,761 --> 01:08:00,761
♪ A Horse With No Name ♪

977
01:09:02,260 --> 01:09:04,729
Your guide to the great state of Texas has arrived.

978
01:09:06,210 --> 01:09:07,221
I didn't think you'd make it.

979
01:09:09,644 --> 01:09:11,793
I figured I need a tan ... so why not?

980
01:09:15,601 --> 01:09:17,019
It's that our old car?

981
01:09:18,148 --> 01:09:18,862
Yeah.

982
01:09:19,792 --> 01:09:20,751
She still run?

983
01:09:21,242 --> 01:09:24,287
She sorta jogs, but she'll get you there.

984
01:09:28,467 --> 01:09:30,908
Well, we should ... we should get going.

985
01:10:07,038 --> 01:10:08,089
What's this?

986
01:10:09,628 --> 01:10:12,191
That's the plant you gave me
when we first met.

987
01:10:13,268 --> 01:10:16,450
You're kidding?
It's gotten so big!

988
01:10:19,126 --> 01:10:21,039
I talk to it twice a day.

989
01:10:23,919 --> 01:10:25,848
I can't believe you kept it alive.

990
01:10:31,729 --> 01:10:32,880
So, how have you been?

991
01:10:34,263 --> 01:10:38,223
Great. Things couldn't be better.
Uhm ... uhm ...

992
01:10:38,248 --> 01:10:39,483
Airline?

993
01:10:40,658 --> 01:10:42,483
Texas Premiere Air, please.

994
01:10:46,470 --> 01:10:47,986
What were you going to say?

995
01:11:09,171 --> 01:11:10,076
Are you up to this?

996
01:11:10,719 --> 01:11:12,036
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

997
01:11:13,450 --> 01:11:13,887
Hi!

998
01:11:17,298 --> 01:11:22,464
Here's our passports, we have
tickets on the 1 pm flight to San Antonio.

999
01:11:22,769 --> 01:11:24,055
What's wrong with him?

1000
01:11:25,365 --> 01:11:27,511
Bad hair day. Thanks for your concern.

1001
01:11:27,715 --> 01:11:30,144
It looks a little more serious than that.

1002
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:33,431
Ok, bad lung day.

1003
01:11:34,573 --> 01:11:36,319
We like our boarding passes, please.

1004
01:11:36,344 --> 01:11:38,900
Names are Tommy Ballenger and Alan Oakley.

1005
01:11:40,532 --> 01:11:43,210
I'm sorry sir, I can board you but not him.

1006
01:11:43,357 --> 01:11:44,786
I am not gonna leave him behind!

1007
01:11:44,925 --> 01:11:47,718
It's company policy. Your friend is obviously ill...

1008
01:11:47,743 --> 01:11:51,536
and we can't risk him infecting our passengers.
It's not safe.

1009
01:11:51,790 --> 01:11:53,114
We're not planning to pilot the plane,

1010
01:11:53,139 --> 01:11:54,915
we thought we just sit quietly at coach.

1011
01:11:55,002 --> 01:11:59,335
Can you get me your supervisor, please?
Or maybe a human being, if you got one back there.

1012
01:11:59,392 --> 01:12:00,295
My supervisor...

1013
01:12:00,504 --> 01:12:04,133
... will tell you the same thing.
Now I have other passengers. Next!

1014
01:12:04,353 --> 01:12:05,729
Get me your supervisor.

1015
01:12:06,714 --> 01:12:07,435
Now!

1016
01:12:08,039 --> 01:12:09,764
Don't you talk to me that way.

1017
01:12:09,914 --> 01:12:13,459
Stay away from the counter before I have you removed.
Next please!

1018
01:12:14,189 --> 01:12:17,522
- Let's just go. She has the upper hand.
- No! Not as far as I'm concern.

1019
01:12:18,440 --> 01:12:20,692
Listen you stupid, air mattress!

1020
01:12:20,717 --> 01:12:22,249
Get me your supervisor now ...

1021
01:12:22,274 --> 01:12:26,090
or you're going to be flying above 30,000 feet
when I shove this up your ass!

1022
01:12:26,664 --> 01:12:30,183
My, my, my! Aren't we the little potty mouth?

1023
01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:33,442
My, my, my! Aren't we the little bitch!

1024
01:12:35,170 --> 01:12:37,840
This is Louise from the
counter of the Texas Premiere.

1025
01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:42,490
I have a very aggressive passenger
and I need security here immediately.

1026
01:12:43,042 --> 01:12:44,794
Finally we are making some progress.

1027
01:12:44,923 --> 01:12:47,304
I don't think having security
called on us is progress.

1028
01:12:47,329 --> 01:12:50,916
What? You, you bitch!
Texas Premier shit! Bitch!

1029
01:12:50,941 --> 01:12:53,978
You fuck what--let me get my plant.

1030
01:12:54,321 --> 01:12:57,511
You fucking bitch!
Little more eye shadow next time, huh!

1031
01:13:01,001 --> 01:13:03,446
She's lucky the the security guards
showed up when she did.

1032
01:13:08,843 --> 01:13:10,923
You know, you developed
quite the potty mouth.

1033
01:13:12,066 --> 01:13:13,874
Are you writing children's books now?

1034
01:13:14,073 --> 01:13:16,549
Yeah, Little Red Riding Bitch.

1035
01:13:17,717 --> 01:13:18,961
Little Red Riding Puta.

1036
01:13:23,033 --> 01:13:25,386
So tell me, how are we going to get to Texas?

1037
01:13:26,598 --> 01:13:29,360
We can take that road trip
you always wanted to take.

1038
01:13:38,103 --> 01:13:39,510
Do you have a map?

1039
01:13:41,067 --> 01:13:41,875
Yeah.

1040
01:13:46,941 --> 01:13:49,472
- Whoa, wha-what are you doing with a gun?
- It's not loaded.

1041
01:13:49,497 --> 01:13:51,416
Would you ... will you get rid of it?

1042
01:13:51,721 --> 01:13:54,458
What do you want me to do? Throw it in the
side of the road for some kid to pick up?

1043
01:13:54,483 --> 01:13:56,165
You know I hate guns.

1044
01:13:56,526 --> 01:13:58,838
You don't travel around
rural Mexico without protection.

1045
01:13:58,863 --> 01:14:01,792
Well, then just put in the glove box,
I don't want to see it again!

1046
01:14:01,817 --> 01:14:02,372
Ok.

1047
01:14:05,618 --> 01:14:06,951
See? It's all tucked away.

1048
01:14:07,816 --> 01:14:08,450
Thank you.

1049
01:14:11,475 --> 01:14:13,646
You know, I can't--I can't read this.

1050
01:14:13,705 --> 01:14:15,379
<b>What's to figure out? You go North.</b>

1051
01:14:45,341 --> 01:14:47,214
Peter was good to me after you left.

1052
01:14:47,682 --> 01:14:51,269
I stayed for the first year at
his guest room and just ...

1053
01:14:51,823 --> 01:14:53,331
and just happened.

1054
01:14:54,870 --> 01:14:56,782
The last two years were not ...

1055
01:15:00,462 --> 01:15:02,057
I didn't know I was that boring ...

1056
01:15:14,912 --> 01:15:16,562
One room for the night, please.

1057
01:15:17,383 --> 01:15:18,348
25 dollars.

1058
01:15:21,011 --> 01:15:21,900
Just give him this.

1059
01:15:22,447 --> 01:15:23,320
Sorry

1060
01:15:24,471 --> 01:15:26,014
We do not accept credit cards.

1061
01:15:26,735 --> 01:15:28,846
We don't accept cards in these parts.

1062
01:15:29,919 --> 01:15:32,212
He said that nobody around here
accepts credit cards.

1063
01:15:32,449 --> 01:15:34,458
All I have are 20 dollars in pesos.

1064
01:15:34,576 --> 01:15:36,767
Well, I didn't bring any cash.
All I have is credit cards.

1065
01:15:36,792 --> 01:15:40,738
I thought we were going by plane.
Can you just ask him if 20 dollars if okay?

1066
01:15:40,763 --> 01:15:42,141
20 dollars, please?

1067
01:15:43,477 --> 01:15:45,444
It's a difference of 5 bucks!

1068
01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:49,664
Okay, okay, let's just go!
Let's just go.

1069
01:15:58,079 --> 01:15:59,237
That fucker!

1070
01:16:07,831 --> 01:16:10,299
What--What's wrong? What's wrong?

1071
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:14,284
[SCREECHING TIRES]

1072
01:16:31,172 --> 01:16:32,481
Be right back.

1073
01:16:46,383 --> 01:16:47,101
Operator?

1074
01:16:47,768 --> 01:16:50,656
- Can you, can you connect me to United States?
- I don't understand you.

1075
01:16:52,490 --> 01:16:56,444
United ... America? California?

1076
01:16:56,545 --> 01:16:59,457
D--Do you speak English? Can you connect me
to someone who speaks English?

1077
01:16:59,482 --> 01:17:00,379
[IN SPANISH] I don't speak English.

1078
01:17:01,679 --> 01:17:04,099
- Califor--
- [IN SPANISH] I do not speak English.
- Fuck!

1079
01:17:11,735 --> 01:17:13,377
Look who's finally awake!

1080
01:17:17,458 --> 01:17:21,267
Oh, we're almost out of gas,
we have no money for food.

1081
01:17:24,477 --> 01:17:26,016
I can't do anything right, can I?

1082
01:17:27,167 --> 01:17:28,849
What are you talking about?

1083
01:17:29,793 --> 01:17:32,333
You're the smartest, sweetest guy I ever met.

1084
01:17:32,682 --> 01:17:34,602
Why do you think I was with
you all those years?

1085
01:17:34,666 --> 01:17:37,507
Yeah, until that book was published.

1086
01:17:38,103 --> 01:17:39,277
I read it, by the way.

1087
01:17:40,907 --> 01:17:44,620
Despite what I think of the subject matter,
it was well-written.

1088
01:17:45,634 --> 01:17:47,087
- You read it?
- Yeah.

1089
01:17:48,170 --> 01:17:51,948
I tried to stop it but it was Peter
who got it published behind my back.

1090
01:17:56,008 --> 01:17:58,250
Through all of it,
I never stopped loving you.

1091
01:18:01,496 --> 01:18:06,268
Thanks. I really needed to hear that.

1092
01:18:15,495 --> 01:18:17,518
You know, I don't know
that much about writing,

1093
01:18:18,003 --> 01:18:19,321
but I do know one thing ...

1094
01:18:20,928 --> 01:18:23,515
You have to write from your heart
and not your head.

1095
01:18:25,591 --> 01:18:26,901
When I was reading the book,
I kept thinking ...

1096
01:18:26,910 --> 01:18:31,489
"This isn't Alan!"
"Alan ... Alan doesn't talk like this."

1097
01:18:37,081 --> 01:18:38,838
I'm gonna get you to a doctor in the morning.

1098
01:18:45,596 --> 01:18:47,953
Shh. Don't say it.

1099
01:18:50,259 --> 01:18:51,957
Sorry for putting you through this.

1100
01:18:52,444 --> 01:18:54,410
I'm just happy to be with you again.

1101
01:19:00,108 --> 01:19:01,434
I should get some sleep.

1102
01:19:02,565 --> 01:19:03,541
I'm really tired.

1103
01:19:45,107 --> 01:19:46,861
Hey! What are you doing?

1104
01:19:47,422 --> 01:19:48,337
That's our stuff!

1105
01:19:48,753 --> 01:19:53,800
[Speaks in Spanish]

1106
01:19:54,030 --> 01:19:57,737
[Speaks in Spanish].
He's got a gun hidden in the back of his pants. Go get it.

1107
01:19:58,109 --> 01:19:59,164
I'm not going near him.

1108
01:19:59,412 --> 01:19:59,928
Go!

1109
01:20:00,150 --> 01:20:02,864
No, I hate guns! I am not
going near it or him!

1110
01:20:03,658 --> 01:20:06,938
Ok, then you come here and
get the gun and hold it on him ...

1111
01:20:06,991 --> 01:20:08,038
and I'll go get his gun.

1112
01:20:08,063 --> 01:20:09,610
I'm still handling a gun!

1113
01:20:09,951 --> 01:20:12,070
Then let's just take him back
to Texas with us.

1114
01:20:12,095 --> 01:20:14,325
Okay, I'll do!

1115
01:20:14,729 --> 01:20:16,888
You're so peremptory!

1116
01:20:17,137 --> 01:20:17,748
What?

1117
01:20:21,836 --> 01:20:22,717
Excuse me.

1118
01:20:23,153 --> 01:20:25,416
- [Speaks in Spanish]--
- Sorry, I just need to get...

1119
01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:26,868
Here ...

1120
01:20:30,761 --> 01:20:31,951
Get down on the ground!

1121
01:20:33,001 --> 01:20:34,880
- Not you, him!
- Sorry.

1122
01:20:36,228 --> 01:20:37,466
Lay down and kiss the dirt!

1123
01:20:38,635 --> 01:20:39,537
Him or me?

1124
01:20:39,917 --> 01:20:41,148
My God! I'm talking to him.

1125
01:20:41,181 --> 01:20:43,696
Why are you saying it in English?
He doesn't know English.

1126
01:20:43,721 --> 01:20:45,308
And, uh, h--how am I supposed to know, huh?

1127
01:20:45,538 --> 01:20:47,807
You know I liked you much better before
when you didn't talk so much.

1128
01:20:47,832 --> 01:20:50,484
What do you expect when someone
is pointing a gun like a madman?

1129
01:20:50,509 --> 01:20:51,620
Madman? Who said--

1130
01:20:51,645 --> 01:20:52,397
Shut up!

1131
01:20:53,253 --> 01:20:55,839
I could have handled the situation
without pointing a gun.

1132
01:20:56,864 --> 01:20:58,165
[Speaks in Spanish] On the floor, now!

1133
01:21:00,167 --> 01:21:01,419
Go grab our bags.

1134
01:21:12,510 --> 01:21:13,598
Now, fill up the tank!

1135
01:21:14,431 --> 01:21:17,346
- Yeah, you!
- Always the smart ass!

1136
01:21:18,081 --> 01:21:19,215
That's why you like me.

1137
01:21:20,414 --> 01:21:21,263
Shit!

1138
01:21:28,970 --> 01:21:31,763
Can you tell him we're really sorry?
I'll send him a check for the gas.

1139
01:21:32,247 --> 01:21:33,517
What are you talking about?

1140
01:21:33,692 --> 01:21:35,157
I feel bad for doing this.

1141
01:21:35,295 --> 01:21:36,825
Why? He was stealing from us!

1142
01:21:36,906 --> 01:21:38,763
So he obviously needed the money.

1143
01:21:39,453 --> 01:21:41,652
You really have became a
heartbleeding liberal, haven't you?

1144
01:21:43,250 --> 01:21:45,242
Go inside and get the money
from the cash register.

1145
01:21:45,766 --> 01:21:48,209
Woah! Sundance would sure have a problem with that ...

1146
01:21:48,234 --> 01:21:49,114
We need the money.

1147
01:21:49,471 --> 01:21:52,574
You can send him a check and a big bunch of
hope-you-are-not-mad balloons later.

1148
01:21:52,599 --> 01:21:54,590
I'm not gonna commit armed robbery!

1149
01:21:56,259 --> 01:22:00,813
Ok. If you don't move ... right now,
I'm going to shoot you.

1150
01:22:00,838 --> 01:22:01,528
What!

1151
01:22:02,058 --> 01:22:04,146
Now I'm the one committing
armed robbery!

1152
01:22:04,304 --> 01:22:05,558
You're--You're crazy!

1153
01:22:19,864 --> 01:22:20,409
Here.

1154
01:22:34,444 --> 01:22:35,555
Hold on a second...

1155
01:22:37,065 --> 01:22:38,113
What--What are you doing?

1156
01:22:40,541 --> 01:22:42,167
I thought you said it was empty!

1157
01:22:42,461 --> 01:22:43,636
Now it is.

1158
01:23:05,735 --> 01:23:07,028
Why are you pulling over?

1159
01:23:12,659 --> 01:23:13,693
Give me that gun.

1160
01:23:15,376 --> 01:23:17,526
Give. me. the gun!

1161
01:23:17,551 --> 01:23:19,446
What's your problem? That was fun.

1162
01:23:21,311 --> 01:23:23,311
Don't ever pull a stunt like that again!

1163
01:23:23,842 --> 01:23:25,342
I saved your ass back there!

1164
01:23:25,367 --> 01:23:27,271
I can't be doing shit like that, ok?

1165
01:23:27,296 --> 01:23:30,573
Okay, well, let's just go back and
apologize to him, Mr. Do-gooder.

1166
01:23:30,598 --> 01:23:34,137
- Just cause you can't stand up for yourself--
- I never should have come down here.

1167
01:23:48,458 --> 01:23:50,958
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

1168
01:23:52,971 --> 01:23:56,232
Just a little out of practice
with robbing gas stations.

1169
01:24:01,491 --> 01:24:03,678
Thanks for saving my ass.

1170
01:24:06,297 --> 01:24:09,003
For that ass? Anytime!

1171
01:24:13,218 --> 01:24:14,650
Let me see where we at.

1172
01:24:29,373 --> 01:24:30,960
We're less than a day from the border.

1173
01:24:31,700 --> 01:24:32,953
We gonna be there by morning.

1174
01:24:41,100 --> 01:24:45,242
I really sorry for what I said.
I didn't mean it at all.

1175
01:24:47,342 --> 01:24:48,517
You can make it up to me.

1176
01:24:50,469 --> 01:24:51,144
How?

1177
01:24:53,417 --> 01:24:56,123
You remember that time I was
depressed cause I lost my job,

1178
01:24:56,148 --> 01:24:57,552
and what you did to cheer me up?

1179
01:25:00,320 --> 01:25:03,614
- No ...
- Come on. Summer of '75 ...

1180
01:25:07,368 --> 01:25:09,043
Yeah, I remember.

1181
01:25:10,416 --> 01:25:13,376
- No! No way!
- Come on, please!

1182
01:25:13,401 --> 01:25:15,893
- No!
- It would really meant a lot to me.

1183
01:25:16,567 --> 01:25:19,122
- Here?
- We haven't seen a car in hours.

1184
01:25:21,130 --> 01:25:22,272
You can't be serious!

1185
01:25:22,725 --> 01:25:25,145
[FAKES A COUGH]

1186
01:25:25,336 --> 01:25:26,209
Ahahaha!

1187
01:25:28,449 --> 01:25:32,449
♪ Jump (For My Love) ♪

1188
01:26:49,980 --> 01:26:52,744
Oh! I'm never listening to you again!

1189
01:26:53,117 --> 01:26:54,752
That made me feel better.

1190
01:26:54,991 --> 01:26:56,158
Ahahahaha!

1191
01:26:57,618 --> 01:26:59,412
I'm so happy for you.

1192
01:27:01,336 --> 01:27:02,844
Little shit!

1193
01:27:07,718 --> 01:27:08,670
Oh, shit!

1194
01:27:08,695 --> 01:27:10,353
[WAILING SIRENS]

1195
01:27:11,893 --> 01:27:12,560
[Speaks in Spanish]

1196
01:27:13,801 --> 01:27:14,674
Get your hands up!

1197
01:27:16,407 --> 01:27:17,984
Get out of the car ... slowly.

1198
01:27:18,796 --> 01:27:19,796
Tommy, get out of the car.

1199
01:27:20,289 --> 01:27:21,327
I won't tell you again!

1200
01:27:21,661 --> 01:27:23,569
- Look we didn't do anything!
- Shut up! Put your hands on the hood!

1201
01:27:27,755 --> 01:27:28,628
Where's your gun?

1202
01:27:29,008 --> 01:27:31,350
- We don't--We don't have a gun.
- Don't lie to me!

1203
01:27:32,126 --> 01:27:34,497
You robbed my brother's station.
You had a gun, no?

1204
01:27:34,522 --> 01:27:35,633
We threw it away.

1205
01:27:37,250 --> 01:27:39,794
What makes you think you can come
into our country and steal from us, huh?

1206
01:27:40,099 --> 01:27:41,588
He was stealing from us!

1207
01:27:42,170 --> 01:27:42,694
Get up!

1208
01:27:46,051 --> 01:27:47,052
I don't like liars!

1209
01:27:47,077 --> 01:27:48,329
- Leave him alone!
- Shut up!

1210
01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:50,257
He needs to see his doctor in Texas.

1211
01:27:52,540 --> 01:27:54,794
He won't need a doctor
when I'm through with him!

1212
01:28:03,173 --> 01:28:04,753
Looks as though
your friend has left you, huh?

1213
01:28:05,593 --> 01:28:08,038
Don't worry, he won't get far.

1214
01:28:12,240 --> 01:28:13,898
That's what you did to
my brother's car.

1215
01:28:17,301 --> 01:28:18,817
That's for making me come out here.

1216
01:28:20,626 --> 01:28:20,976
Hey!

1217
01:28:22,269 --> 01:28:25,165
You picked the wrong day
to mess with me!

1218
01:28:27,093 --> 01:28:31,093
♪ Cover Me ♪

1219
01:29:30,394 --> 01:29:32,299
I died and gone to gay heaven.

1220
01:29:35,584 --> 01:29:37,107
I want some "disco lights."

1221
01:29:40,299 --> 01:29:46,818
[WAILING SIRENS]

1222
01:30:03,492 --> 01:30:05,461
Hey, wake up sleepyhead! We're almost there.

1223
01:30:09,747 --> 01:30:12,494
Nahahahaha! Not when I'm driving.

1224
01:30:14,742 --> 01:30:16,716
C'mon, we're gonna be there in less than an hour.

1225
01:30:21,811 --> 01:30:22,189
Hey!

1226
01:30:24,459 --> 01:30:25,166
Tommy?

1227
01:30:27,081 --> 01:30:29,685
C'mon! It's not funny.

1228
01:30:31,562 --> 01:30:32,002
Tommy!

1229
01:30:34,446 --> 01:30:35,057
Come on!

1230
01:30:36,950 --> 01:30:40,569
Please wake up! Please wake up!

1231
01:30:43,981 --> 01:30:46,219
You can't die when you I just got you back.

1232
01:30:46,926 --> 01:30:49,918
Come on, please, please!

1233
01:30:52,510 --> 01:30:56,002
I never even got the chance
to tell you how much I love you!

1234
01:32:05,313 --> 01:32:05,582
Hi!

1235
01:32:12,818 --> 01:32:13,421
Thank you.

1236
01:32:15,003 --> 01:32:16,169
- Hey there!
- Hi!

1237
01:32:18,542 --> 01:32:20,423
This is the best love story I ever read!

1238
01:32:21,256 --> 01:32:21,867
Thank you!

1239
01:32:23,137 --> 01:32:25,152
You really made my coming out
so much easier.

1240
01:32:25,748 --> 01:32:27,692
Oh, it means a lot. Thank you!